Commandments of a Computing Center

THOU SHALT NOT:

Worship other computer systems
Impersonate Liberace while sitting at the console keyboard.
Use magnetic tapes as frisbees.
Slap users on the face.
Get physically involved with the computer system, if already married.
Use a disk pack as a stool to reach another disk pack.
Stare at blinking lights for more than one 8 hour shift.
Tell a user that you accidentally destroyed his/her files and his/her backup, just to see the look on his/her face.
Staple card decks together.
Enjoy cancelling a job.
Do unto the director as he does unto you.
Eat watermelon while sitting at the console.
Spit at a user when he/she brings in 10 thirty minute jobs.
Display firearms in the computer room.
Push buttons just to see what happens.

Author unknown.