The Funny Side

An Accident Report

This remarkable accident report, which appeared in the Ontario Provincial Police News, arose from a railroad crossing mishap in the Midlands of England, at a place called Willenhall. Read on.

According to the official British accident report, it was 11:30am when the automatic gates at the level crossing went down to block traffic for a train. Waiting at the crossing were an Austin mini, a Norton motorcycle, a horse and cart loaded with scrap metal, and a Maxi. Behind them were a Ford Cortina and, last in line, a Mercedes.

As they waited in line for the train to pass, the horse suddenly whinnied and dripped spit on the motorcycle driver's neck. Thinking the horse might bite him, the cyclist ducked, throwing his right elbow in the horse's face, his foot slipping off the clutch. The motorcycle lurched forward and hit the back of the Mini, the cyclist falling off of his machine.

The horse, punched in the face, reared up, tipping its cart so that the scrap metal fell on the Maxi. This pushed the Maxi backwards a few feet, ramming the front of the Ford Cortina.

At this point a man walking his dog, a Jack Russell terrier the report says, happened on the scene. He hurried to aid the injured motorcyclist, but first tied his barking dog's leash to the automatic gate. Since the train had passed, the automatic gate went up, yanking the yapping dog 20 feet into the air.

Seeing his dog in the air, the owner shouted to a nearby pedestrian to lower the barrier. The far-from-the-gate driver of the Mercedes, at the end of the line, pulled out into the passing lane and headed across the railroad tracks. At this point the gate came down, crashing on top of the Mercedes, leaving the yapping dog dangling from the roof.

Author unknown.