The Funny Side
I'd love to, but...
I'd love to, but...
- I have to floss my cat.
- I've dedicated my life to linguini.
- I want to spend more time with my blender.
- the President said he might drop in.
- the man on television told me to say tuned.
- I've been scheduled for a karma transplant.
- I'm staying home to work on my cottage cheese sculpture.
- it's my parakeet's bowling night.
- it wouldn't be fair to the other Beautiful People.
- I'm building a pig from a kit.
- I did my own thing and now I've got to undo it.
- I'm enrolled in aerobic scream therapy.
- there's a disturbance in the Force.
- I'm doing door-to-door collecting for static cling.
- I have to go to the post office to see if I'm still wanted.
- I'm teaching my ferret to yodel.
- I have to check the freshness dates on my dairy products.
- I'm going through cherry cheesecake withdrawl.
- I'm planning to go downtown to try on gloves.
- my crayons all melted together.
- I'm trying to see how long I can go without saying yes.
- I'm in training to be a household pest.
- I'm getting my overalls overhauled.
- my patent is pending.
- I'm attending the opening of my garage door.
- I'm sandblasting my oven.
- I'm worried about my vertical hold.
- I'm going down to the bakery to watch the buns rise.
- I'm being deported.
- the grunion are running.
- I'll be looking for a parking space.
- my Millard Filmore Fan Club meets then.
- the monsters haven't turned blue yet, and I have to eat more dots.
- I'm taking punk totem pole carving.
- I have to fluff my shower cap.
- I'm converting my calendar watch from Julian to Gregorian.
- I've come down with a really horrible case of something or other.
- I made an appointment with a cuticle specialist.
- my plot to take over the world is thickening.
- I have to fulfill my potential.
- I don't want to leave my comfort zone.
- it's too close to the turn of the century.
- I have some real hard words to look up in the dictionary.
- my subconscious says no.
- I'm giving nuisance lessons at a convenience store.
- I left my body in my other clothes.
- the last time I went, I never came back.
- I've got a Friends of Rutabaga meeting.
- I have to answer all of my "occupant" letters.
- none of my socks match.
- I have to be on the next train to Bermuda.
- I'm having all my plants neutered.
- people are blaming me for the Spanish-American War.
- I changed the lock on my door and now I can't get out.
- I'm making a home movie called "The Thing That Grew in My Refrigerator."
- I'm attending a perfume convention as guest sniffer.
- my yucca plant is feeling yucky.
- I'm touring China with a wok band.
- my chocolate-appreciation class meets that night.
- I never go out on days that end in "Y."
- my mother would never let me hear the end of it.
- I'm running off to Yugoslavia with a foreign-exchange student named Basil Metabolism.
- I just picked up a book called "Glue in Many Lands" and I can't put it down.
- I'm too old/young for that stuff.
- I have to wash/condition/perm/curl/tease/torment my hair.
- I have too much guilt.
- there are important world issues that need worrying about.
- I have to draw "Cubby" for an art scholarship.
- I'm uncomfortable when I'm alone or with others.
- I promised to help a friend fold road maps.
- I feel a song coming on.
- I'm trying to be less popular.
- my bathroom tiles need grouting.
- I have to bleach my hare.
- I'm waiting to see if I'm already a winner.
- I'm writing a love letter to Richard Simmons.
- you know how we psychos are.
- my favorite commercial is on TV.
- I have to study for a blood test.
- I'm going to be old someday.
- I've been traded to Cincinnati.
- I'm observing National Apathy Week.
- I have to rotate my crops.
- my uncle escaped again.
- I'm up to my elbows in waxy buildup.
- I have to knit some dust bunnies for a charity bazaar.
- I'm having my baby shoes bronzed.
- I have to go to court for kitty littering.
- I'm going to count the bristles in my toothbrush.
- I have to thaw some karate chops for dinner.
- having fun gives me prickly heat.
- I'm going to the Missing Persons Bureau to see if anyone is looking for me.
- I have to jog my memory.
- my palm reader advised against it.
- my Dress For Obscurity class meets then.
- I have to stay home and see if I snore.
- I prefer to remain an enigma.
- I think you want the OTHER [your name] .
- I have to sit up with a sick ant.
- I'm trying to cut down.
- ... well, maybe.
