This is a collection of taglines (one-liners), selected from the huge database at www.taglinesgalore.com.

A "Just Peace" is when our side gets whatever it was that it wanted.

A "program" is used to turn data into error messages.

A "running mate" is a husband who dared to talk back.

A "user friendly" program doesn't have a 600 page manual!

A $300.00 Picture tube will protect a 10 cent fuse by blowing first.

A 1200 baud brain attached to a 28800 baud mouth.

A 50 pound bicycle doesn't need a lock.

A Bachelor can go fishing anytime, until he gets hooked.

A Bad Idea: Being Knighted with a Vorpal Sword.

A Barefoot Dancer On Broken Glass.

A Bee On A Bee Makes A Baby Bee, that does: 'BEE BEE BEE BEE BEE...'

A Big Mac, french fries and a large Coke!

A Big Mouth Travels Far.

A Canadian is an unarmed American with health care.

A Cat's Courage is as Strong as a Dog's Chain

A Child's thoughts answer, the pain is in you, not I.

A Christian does not own his wealth; he owes it.

A Church is God between four walls. --Victor Hugo.

A Communistic Keyboard has no 'ESC' Key

A Cray Supercomputer and a 2400 baud modem!

A Democrat: too poor to be a capitalist, too rich to be a Communist.

A Discordian is prohibited of believing what he reads.

A Dog is just a dog until he faces you, then he is Mr. Dog.

A Family Christmas: "Let the bickering begin!"

A Ferengi tagline; Pay 3 slips Gold Pressed Ladinum to read it.

A Friend In Need Always Finds Your New Phone Number.

A Friend in Need is a pain indeed.

A Girlfriend may be a free trial, but you get a life sentence.

A Happy Heart is like Good Medicine.

A Hindu is a terrible thing of caste?

A Husband who gets breakfast in bed, is in the Hospital.

A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind. --Yoda.

A Jedi named Vampyra, betrayed and murdered your father.

A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack.

A Jury: 12 persons who decide who has the best lawyer

A KGB keyboard has no escape key.

A Klingon Diplomat? No, his Disrupter ran out of energy.

A Klingon does not let a friend face danger alone. - Worf

A LISP programmer knows the value of everything, but the cost of nothing.

A Life!? Cool! Where can I download one of those from?

A Mac emulator under OS/2? You *are* sick!

A Man Without a GOD is Like a Fish Without a Bicycle.

A Modemer's telephone bill knows no bounds.

A Moderator's job is never done!

A Most Dangerous Thing - an Ensign with a warp field experiment.

A Mother Goose/Oliver Stone production: "HUMPTY DUMPTY WAS PUSHED"

A NAVY pilot's worst nightmare: NO CARRIER

A NEW weapon against The Borg... Make them download Windows!

A Nobel Peace Prize? I'd KILL for one of those.

A PROGRAM is used to turn data into error messages.

A Pearl is a temple built by pain around a grain of sand.

A Penny saved... is not much!

A Picture Is Worth 100,000 Bytes.

A Police State is great... so long as you are the police.

A Pseudonym is a nym that is not your real nym.

A Q a day... keeps the Borg away.

A REAL test for Duracell Bunny: build an _American_ Space Station...

A Scot runs out every 12 minutes to put a nickel in the parking meter!

A Scout is *never* lost. Misplaced, perhaps, but *never* lost.

A Sentient NCC-1701-D: Engage it *YOURSELF* Picard!

A Sneeze is just a facial orgasm!

A Starchild gets whipped with a Van Allen belt.

A Tribble is the only love that money can buy.

A UFO was observed in Vancouver: The sun.

A UN acting against Bosnia can act also against the US.

A VAX is virtually a computer, but not quite.

A VERY small joke, ensign... --Spock.

A Vulcan security officer? Kinda like a Klingon counselor...

A Whisper: the fastest method of circulating a secret yet devised!

A Warrior does NOT steal taglines! --Worf.

A Watched Pot May Never Boil, But the Cook Certainly Does.

A Wife is a woman who: plays bridge, tennis, golf, and dumb.

A Windows user spends 1/3 his life sleeping, 1/3 working, 1/3 waiting.

A Windows utility is a virus with seniority...

A Wise man once said, "My name is Wise."

A Woman's place is in the House, Senate and Oval Office.

A bachelor can only chase a girl until she catches him.

A bachelor is a man who is free to choose, and chooses to be free.

A bachelor lives like a king and dies like a beggar.

A bad beginning makes for a good ending.

A bad computer blames its operator.

A bad day at home is better than a good day at work

A bad day on Star Trek: The engine's stall on "Engage."

A bad day: "Transfer completed (5720468 bytes, 56651 errors, 1 CPS)"

A bad episode of B5 is better than ANY TNG/DSN episode!

A bad idea can only survive if it need not stand the test of reality.

A bad joke is a parody error...

A bad peace is even worse than a war.

A bad random number generator: 1, 1, 1, 1, 1, 4.33e+67, 1, 1, 1

A bad spot on the disk.

A balanced diet is a burger in each hand.

A banker will lend you money only if you can prove you don't need it.

A barbecue often cooks steaks rare and fingers well-done.

A bargain is something you cannot use at a price you cannot resist.

A barking dog never bites... while he's barking.

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

A beast I am, lest a beast I become.

A beautiful theory, killed by a nasty, ugly, little fact.

A belief is not true because it is useful. --H.F. Amiel.

A better way to DoubleSpace your disk: DEL C:\WINDOWS\*.*

A big enough hammer can usually fix anything.

A big hello to all intelligent life forms everywhere.

A big lie is often more plausible than the truth.

A bigot delights in public ridicule for he thinks he's a martyr.

A bigot will not reason, a fool cannot, a slave dare not.

A billion here, a billion there, soon it is real money.

A bird can fly, but a fly can't bird. --Tao of Pooh.

A bird in the hand is not as good as girl in the bush.

A bird in the hand makes brilliant cat-food.

A bird in the hand may bite without warning!

A birthday cake is fine as long as there's a girl in it!

A bit hard to trust a man who wants to borrow a picklock, Sir...

A bit is the increment by which programmers slowly go mad.

A bit visits the CPU and says "hi".

A bite? Where would you like a bite?

A black Einstein would have postulated thusly: E=MC Hammer

A black hole is God dividing by zero.

A black-and-white mind working on a color-coded problem.

A bland and deadly courtesy is infinitely more devastating.

A blank stare is as worthless as a faxed cheque.

A bleeding heart can be hell on the carpeting.

A blessing to die for a cause, because you can easily die for nothing.

A blind man cannot walk among Shadows.

A blind man teaching a robot to paint? --Riker.

A blind man will not thank you for a looking-glass.

A blindfold can be very useful if you're telepathic.

A blond who dies her hair brunette: Artificial Intelligence!

A book (returned) in time saves time.

A book and its readers go together.

A book is a present you can open again and again.

A book in the hand is worth two on the shelf!

A book is the only immortality.

A book is the ultimate random access device.

A book worth banning is a book worth reading.

A bore is a man who, when asked how he is, tells you.

A boy becomes a man when he walks around a puddle instead of through it.

A boy lies in the grass unmoving staring at the sky...

A boyfriend a day gets me $100,000 in alimony.

A brain is worth little without a tongue.

A bridge was burned and a lesson learned I never will forget.

A brunette between two blondes: an interpreter.

A bug in the code is worth two in the documentation.

A bug is a feature that didn't make it into the manual.

A bug is a son of a glitch...

A bunch of bunnies hopping backwards: a receding hare line.

A bureaucracy can outwait anything.

A butterfly is a self-propelled flower.

A camel is a horse planned by committee.

A can of worms full of Pandora's boxes.

A candle loses nothing by lighting another candle.

A car tried to occupy the same spacetime as mine.

A career is a job that has gone on too long.

A cat always assumes the shape of its container.

A cat always land on it's feet - unless ya tie a brick round it's neck

A cat is _always_ on the wrong side of the door.

A cat is a four footed allergen.

A cat is an animal who never cries over spilled milk.

A cat is, above all things, an ingredient of Chop Suey.

A cat with gloves on will catch no mice.

A cat, the only self-cleaning appliance in the house.

A cat's courage is as strong as the dog's chain.

A cat's place is in control.

A cat's way of keeping law and order is Claw Enforcement

A censor is someone who knows more than he thinks YOU should.

A cheap dominatrix offers bargain debasement.

A chicken doesn't stop scratching just because the worms are scarce.

A chicken is an egg's way of producing more eggs.

A child of five could understand this! Fetch me a child of five.

A child squeals real loud when picked up by the ears.

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

A child's face says it all, especially the mouth part of the face.

A child's middle name is so he can tell when he's REALLY in trouble.

A circle is a line that meets it's other end without ending.

A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

A choice is always possible, even without any options.

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together. --Prochnow.

A city without trees is not fit for a dog.

A classic case of man versus fate. Best of three falls. Ten round limit.

A classic is a book highly praised yet never read.

A clean desk is a sign of a cluttered desk drawer.

A clean desk is a sign of an empty mind.

A clean mind is the sign of a sick desk.

A clean room is a sure sign of a broken computer.

A clear conscience is a sign of a bad memory.

A closed mind gathers no thoughts.

A closed mind is a wonderful thing to make fun of.

A closed mouth says nothing wrong; a closed mind does nothing right.

A coin. Good. I will replicate one immediately. --Data.

A collision is a near miss.

A commanding officer doesn't need brains, just a good loud voice.

A committee has six or more legs and no brain - Heinlein.

A communist is a socialist without a sense of humour.

A company is known by the people it keeps.

A compassionate Republican steps over the homeless, not on them.

A competent and reliable dishwasher never starves. --R. A. Heinlein.

A computer addict needs 26 hours in a day, all 8 days of the week...

A computer cuts your work in half and gives you back the bloody ends.

A computer has an IQ of zero. The operator's IQ is questionable.

A computer never forgives or forgets.

A computer scientist is someone who fixes things that aren't broken.

A computer without Windows is like a fish without a bicycle.

A computer's attention span is as long as its power cord

A computer, a modem, a phone line... what else do you need?

A concentrated phaser blast makes the best Universal Translator.

A conclusion simply means they got tired of thinking.

A concrete example is very hard to carry around.

A confident manner is important: Computers can sense this!

A confirmed cookie eater!

A conscience does not prevent sin. It only prevents you from enjoying it.

A conspiracy of silence speaks louder than words.

A consultant is a hooker with a Ph.D.

A contradiction in terms: Military Intelligence.

A country that ignores history has no future.

A couple of revisions behind.

A courageous foe is better than a cowardly friend.

A coward is a hero with a wife, kids, and a mortgage.

A coward mistakes oppression for peace.

A criminal lawyer... is there any other kind?

A crisis is when you can't say "Let's forget about it."

A cross between a Vulcan and a tribble: Fuzzy Logic.

A crowd is a mob with no leader.

A crude, but effective ruse.

A cunning linguist is good with his tongue!

A cute Blonde with a gun... can go anywhere... --Janier.

A cynic is an idealist who has finally learned the truth.

A cynic is man who, when he smells flowers, looks around for a coffin.

A dagger in the back will cramp any wizard's style!

A darkroom is not the best place to develop a reputation.

A day not wasted is a day wasted!

A day without new taglines is like a mouse without a television.

A day without orange juice is like a day without orange juice.

A day without radiation is a day without sunshine.

A day without sunshine is like night.

A denebian slime devil is a tribble built to Klingon specs.

A desert chieftain would drive a Mirage.

A desktop Cray for $10? Is it PC compatible?

A diagnostic is someone who doesn't know if there are two Gods.

A die for a die. --Catwoman (Batman Returns)

A diet is a short period of starvation preceding a gain of five pounds

A dime is a coin once used for money.

A dime is a dollar with all the taxes taken out.

A dime saved is a dollar earned. The rest is Uncle Sam's.

A dip switch is only as good as the dip using it.

A diploma only means you know which book to look in.

A diploma proves only that you know how to find an answer.

A diplomat thinks twice before saying nothing.

A diplomat never insults anyone... accidently.

A dirty book is seldom dusty.

A disagreement may be the shortest cut between two minds. --K. Gibran.

A doctor enjoys poor health.

A dog barks at a shadow... the rest bark at the sound.

A dog leads a SYSOPS life!

A dog peed on me. A bad sign.

A dog with money is addressed as Mr. Dog. Spanish Proverb

A dog, a plan, a canal. Pagoda! -- palindrome alpha version

A dollar saved is a dollar my wife has overlooked!

A double standard's better than no standard at all.

A drawing pin is an excited Smartie.

A dream grants what one covets when awake.

A dream is a postcard from your subconscious.

A dream is a wish your heart makes.

A dream itself is but a shadow. --Shakespeare.

A dream itself is but a tagline. --Tagspeare.

A dream of a galaxy WITHOUT war. --Babylon 5.

A dream to some... A nightmare to others! --Merlin.

A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together.

A drum, a drum! Macbeth doth come.

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

A duck is a bird that walks like it has ridden horseback all day.

A efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.

A eunuch should not take pride in his chastity

A fail-safe system fails when it fails to fail safely.

A failure will not appear till a unit has been shipped.

A false friend and a shadow stay around only while the sun shines.

A family is a circle of people who love you.

A fanatic marches to the beat of a dead horse.

A fast has no real nutritional value.

A fat ferengi has just entered the establishment. --Worf.

A fatal error has occured. You're dead! --Lore of Borg.

A fate worse than death is to be married alive.

A father is a banker provided by nature.

A fault recognized is half corrected.

A fault tolerant system must report the faults even as it tolerates them.

A feature is a bug with seniority.

A female Sysop is a Sysopette!

A feminist bookstore has no humor section.

A few bits short of a byte.

A few more questions, Mr. Computer. --Moriarty.

A field upgrade, HAL. We're going to make you IBM compatible.

A figure in white unknown by man, approaching the altar of death!

A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.

A fly by night leaves no shadow beyond a doubt.

A fly in your soup is better than no meat at all.

A fool and his UNIX are soon ported.

A fool is one who knows more than his teacher. --Plato.

A fool uttereth all his mind. --Proverbs 29:11

A fool wants to be king. A wise man wonders if he can handle the job.

A foot is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

A forgotten loved one will appear soon. Buy the negatives at any price.

A formal parsing algorithm should not always be used. --D. Gries.

A fox should not be on the jury at a goose's trial.

A free lunch is only found in mousetraps.

A free society is one where it is safe to be unpopular. --Adlai Stevenson.

A friend is a person who knows you and still likes you.

A friend far away is still a friend.

A friend in need, always finds your new phone number.

A friend in power is a friend lost.

A friend is a person who knows you, but still likes you.

A friend loveth at all times. --Proverbs 17:17.

A fundamentalist is an evangelical who is angry about something.

A fundie Borg: You must believe the Bible to be assimilated.

A genius is one who can do anything except make a living.

A gentleman never hits a lady with his hat on.

A gigolo is a fee-male. --Isaac Goldberg.

A girl can be poor in history but great on dates!

A girl can't live by psychoses alone.

A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

A goal is a dream with a deadline.

A goddess whose worshippers strangle people is close enough for me.

A good Tagline is a stolen Tagline!

A good angle to approach any problem is the try-angle.

A good book is the purest essence of a human soul.

A good brainwashing could fix that problem of yours.

A good breakfast is worth waiting all night for.

A good day is when S**t hits the fan and I have time to duck.

A good dog barks when told.

A good education should leave much to be desired.

A good friend can listen and hear what was never said.

A good friend on a journey makes the way seem shorter.

A good guess still counts as a correct answer.

A good hacker knows all the right MOVs.

A good hug should put a smile in the heart.

A good indignation brings out all one's powers. --Emerson.

A good lesbian is hard to find!

A good listener is usually thinking about something else.

A good man died because of us. --Bashir.

A good man is always a beginner.

A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming. --Barbarella.

A good masochist takes a lot of beating!

A good memory does not equal pale ink.

A good memory is one trained to forget the trivial.

A good pilot has the same number of take-offs as landings.

A good scare can be worth more than good advice.

A good sense of humor is your best weapon.

A good time to keep you mouth shut is when you're in deep water.

A good tradesman blames the apprentice.

A good traveler leaves no track. --Lao Tzu.

A good way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

A good woman can whip you with one eye lash.

A gov't that provides for all our needs can also take all we have.

A government by the people should not fear the militia!

A government supported artist is an incompetent whore. --R. A. Heinlein.

A government subsidy is getting just some of your own money back.

A government that fears your arms is a government to fear

A great many open minds should be closed for repairs.

A grenade with a 7 second fuse burns down in 5 seconds.

A guilty conscience needs no accuser.

A gun is like a parachute. When you need it you NEED it!

A guru hops around often, he's known as the Kan Guru.

A hacker does for love what others would not do for money. --Laura Creighton.

A hacker is someone who would rather program than sleep.

A hacker's tombstone: CONNECT 1963, NO CARRIER 1995

A half executed attack is an unfinished attack.

A handgun responds faster than 911 for crime problems.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A happy, and registered, Telix v3.21 user...

A hard disk is a device that erase data faster than floppy disk drive!

A hard disk is good to find.

A hard drive is the cleanest garbage can in the world.

A hard thing about business is minding your own!

A healthy slap across the nose'll squelch a dragon's hostile tendencies.

A heaping mass of fear is what we hold dear.

A hidden flaw never remains hidden.

A hole is nothing, but you can break your neck in it.

A homely woman hates mirrors.

A honest politician is one who stays bought after he is bought.

A hooker once told me she had a headache.

A horse is a horse of course, of course. Unless it's Odo.

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says "So why the long face?"

A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!

A house without books is like a computer with Windows.

A hug is a handshake from the heart.

A hug may warm the soul, but a kiss steals it.

A huge anti-semantic movement arose.

A human with an IQ of two thousand and five. --Q.

A hundred thousand lemmings can't all be wrong.

A hundred years of forgetting and it all comes rushing back.

A hungry dog hunts best. A hungrier dog hunts even better.

A hungry man is not a free man. --Adlai Stevenson.

A hurricane triggered by butterfly wings...

A husband is a bachelor whose luck finally failed...

A husband is a man who is spouse-broken.

A husband is a man who lost his liberty in the pursuit of happiness.

A husband who gets breakfast in bed, is usually in the hospital.

A hypochondriac is someone who greets you "Good Moaning."

A is for Alert, like when Riker yells red.

A is for Angie hacked up with an axe.

A is for Astaroth, who fell from the sky.

A jet pilot might drive a Concorde.

A job is nice but it interferes with my life.

A joke is the epigram on the death of a feeling. --Nietzsche.

A joke never gains an enemy, but often loses a friend.

A joke's a very serious thing. -- Churchill

A joke... is a story with a humorous climax. -- Spock

A journey of 2000 miles will be routed through O'Hare.

A judge is a law student who marks his own examination papers.

A judge is an attorney who stopped practicing law.

A jury -- twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer.

A jury is a group of twelve people of average ignorance.

A katana might slice a worm in two.

A keyboard? How quaint! --Scotty.

A kibble is one thousand nibbles.

A kick in the butt is a step forward.

A kid with a hammer will find that everything he sees needs pounding.

A kind word and a gun gets you more than a kind word alone.

A king's castle is his home.

A king, eh? Well, I didn't vote for you... --The Holy Grail.

A kiss that speaks volumes is seldom a first edition.

A knavish speech sleeps in a foolish ear. --Shakespeare.

A knavish tagline sleeps in a foolish ear. --Tagspeare.

A knife too dull to cut anything else can always cut your finger.

A lack of knowledge is a dangerous thing.

A lady is a woman who can make a man act like a gentleman.

A large hammer is a must for computer techs.

A large viper must be swallowed with extreme caution.

A lasting peace gives time to finish paying for last war.

A laugh is a smile that bursts.

A laugh is worth a hundred groans in any market.

A law that prevents risks prevents love.

A lawyer is like a river. --Kosh.

A lawyer is skilled in the circumvention of the law.

A lawyer's opinion is worth nothing unless paid for.

A leader is best when people barely know that he exists.

A learned fool is more foolish than an ignorant fool.

A lecture on time travel will be held yesterday.

A left winger's IQ is always the {NUL} set.

A leopard never changes his stripes. --Al Gore.

A lesbian is a person from the Middle East.

A lesser doctor might've been fooled. I, however... --HoloDoc.

A letter of reprimand is better than no mail at all.

A level playing field is the best place to exchange ideas.

A liar needs a good memory.

A liberal is an optimist without any experience.

A liberal's generosity is only limited by your income.

A library is an arsenal of liberty.

A library is thought in cold storage.

A lie has speed, but truth has endurance.

A lie is terminological inexactitude. --Churchill.

A lie is the truth in masquerade.

A lie told often enough becomes the truth. --Hermann Goering.

A list is only as strong as its weakest link. --Don Knuth.

A little bit of uh huh and a whole lot of oh yeah.

A little brain damage never hurt.

A little rebellion now and then is a good thing!

A little suffering is good for the soul. --James Tiberius Kirk.

A little whipping, a little caning... Sure, why not!

A little too much like reality eh?

A living example of Artificial Intelligence.

A long dispute means that both parties are wrong.

A long memory is the most subversive idea in America.

A long shot, Watson; a very long shot. -- Sherlock Holmes

A long time ago, in a galaxy far, far away...

A long time ago, on a node far, far away...

A lost ounce of gold may be found, a lost moment of time never.

A lot has changed in the last 300 years. --Picard.

A lot of money is never enough once you have it.

A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths.

A lot of people voted for change, and that's all they have now.

A lot of people work but their minds are unemployed.

A lover of discipline is a lover of knowledge.

A lover without discretion is no lover at all.

A lover without indiscretion is no lover at all.

A low FAT file instructs the computer to eat data in little bits and bytes.

A low level language is one whose programs require attention to the irrelevant.

A low yield atomic bomb is like being a little pregnant.

A magnet is something you find crawling all over a dead cat.

A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.

A male rite of passage: Registering your copy of Telix.

A man and a woman had a little baby, oh yes they did.

A man attempting to walk around the world, drowned today.

A man born to drown will drown on a desert.

A man can be happy with any woman as long as he doesn't love her.

A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies. --Oscar Wilde.

A man gets what he wants by acting smart; a woman, by playing dumb.

A man in love is incomplete until he has married. Then he's finished.

A man in love mistakes a pimple for a dimple.

A man in the house is worth two in the streets. --Mae West.

A man is as good as he has to be, a woman as bad as she dares.

A man is closest to perfection when filling out a job application form.

A man isn't poor if he can still laugh.

A man needs a mistress... to whip him!

A man must know his limitations if he wants to survive. - Hamza el-Kahir

A man once claimed nothing was true; but he was lying

A man should be greater than some of his parts.

A man should live forever, or die trying.

A man who can't mind his own business so not to be trusted with the king's.

A man who fails to listen is blind.

A man who fears suffering is already suffering from what he fears. --Montaigne.

A man who says it can't be done shouldn't interrupt woman doing it.

A man who sinks in woman's arms, soon has his arms in woman's sink.

A man who smiles when things go wrong has a computer to blame it on.

A man who trusts can never be betrayed, only mistaken.

A man who wants to lead the orchestra must turn his back on the crowd.

A man who would move a mountain must begin by carrying away a stone.

A man will crawl on the sheer face of love like a fly on the wall. --U2.

A man's a man all his life, a woman's sexy until she's your wife.

A man's brain is his Achilles' heel.

A man's computer room is his Mouse Pad in his Mouse House.

A man's gotta do... whatever his wife tells him to!

A man's home is his castle, let him clean it.

A man's house is his hassle.

A man's heart has a nerve that answers to beauty's vibrations.

A man's place is in the wrong.

A man's reach should exceed his grasp.

A man's silence is wonderful to listen to.

A man's worst nightmare: Tonya Rodham Bobbitt.

A man, a plan, a canal. Suez! --palindrome alpha version.

A man, a plan, a canal... Panama!

A married man can do anything he likes if his wife don't mind. --G. B. Shaw.

A martyr is a hero who didn't make it.

A masochist is anybody who does anything in COBOL.

A mass of conflicting impulses.

A mathematician is a machine for converting coffee into theorems.

A matter of opinion, your opinion dosen't matter.

A message from the depths of Hell!

A messy kitchen is the sign of a sexy woman.

A military disaster may produce a better postwar situation than victory.

A militia cannot be assembled from an unarmed populace.

A mind is a terrible thing to... OOOOH, DOOM 2 is here!

A mind is a terrible thing. --Dan Quayle.

A mind is like a parachute. It only operates when it is open.

A mind stretched by new ideas can never go back to its original size.

A mission! Oh, wait... I've already been on one mission this week.

A miracle would definitely be a step in the right direction. --Hawkeye.

A mistake a day keeps perfection away.

A mistress is something between a mister and a mattress.

A moment of joy in a lifetime of suffering. - Londo

A monk, a clone, and a Ferengi decide to go bowling...--Data

A moose on the road is a Canadian stop sign....

A moose once bit my sister, pretty nasty, really. --Monty Python.

A mouse is an elephant built in Japan.

A mouse is falcon food, not an input device!

A myth is a female moth.

A nanite is a midget nanny!

A nation cannot have Gun Control and remain free ...

A nation of sheep feeds a government of wolves.

A nearby penny is worth a distant dollar.

A new generation. A new mission. A new destiny. --Star Trek: Voyager.

A new name for Political Correctness: Euphemasia.

A new standard in obfuscation, ambiguity, and equivocation.

A new standard in telec############## NO CARRIER

A nice try *beats* a good intention...

A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore. --Yogi Berra.

A nickname is the heaviest stone the devil can throw at a man.

A nuclear war can ruin your whole day.

A nudist is one who suffers from clothestrophobia.

A nymph hits you and steals your virginity.

A one track mind often has a derailed train of thought.

A one-bit brain with a parity error.

A oscillator will oscillate at the wrong frequency ...if it oscillates.

A page of documentation (now) is worth four hours of work (later).

A pain in the butt may be a friend in need.

A paradox can be paradoctored. --R.A.Heinlein.

A paranoid is a guy who just figured out what's really going on.

A parking meter is a means of buying time.

A part of kindness consists in loving people more than they deserve.

A pedestal is as much a prison as any small, confined space. --Gloria Steinem.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my aircraft.

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

A pen and paper are all you need to create a new world.

A pen is mightier than a sword unless it runs out of ink!

A penny earned is ridiculous...

A penny for your thoughts, $200/hr to act them out.

A penny for your thoughts, a nickel for the whole brain!

A penny saved... is a Congressional oversight.

A penny saved is a penny.

A penny saved is bound to be taxed.

A perfect woman is one that is inflated to 40 psi. --Bud Bundy.

A person does not have a sense of humor, it has you.

A person forgives only when she is in the wrong.

A person in a passion rides a mad horse.

A person is a lion in his own cause.

A person is just about as big as the things that make them angry.

A person never tells you anything until contradicted.

A person that stands for nothing will fall for anything.

A person who *won't* be blackmailed, *can't* be blackmailed.

A person who hunts using birds of prey might drive a Falcon.

A person who isn't making waves isn't paddling hard enough.

A person who looks up to God rarely looks down on People.

A person with a gun is a citizen. A person without a gun is a subject.

A person's strongest dreams are about what he can't do.

A perversion of nature... how exciting!

A pessimist complains about noise when opportunity knocks.

A pessimist is a well informed optimist.

A pessimist thinks all women are bad; an optimist wishes they were.

A phaser *is* the universal communicator. --Worf.

A physicist is an atom's way of knowing about atoms. --George Wald.

A physicist is just an atom's way of looking at itself. --Niels Bohr.

A piano is a harp in a coffin.

A picket... a pocket... a packet... you read mine did I see yours...?

A picture's worth 1000 words, 2000 bytes, or 16000 bits.

A point in the space time continuum.

A point of view is a matter of perspective.

A polar bear is a rectangular bear after a coordinate transform.

A poor man is one who gets his money by earning it.

A poor man's bagpipe: Stuff cat(1) under arm. Pull leg. Chew on tail.

A power so great, it can only be used for Good or Evil!

A priestess and a virgin you might be, but that unicorn won't care.

A problem can be found for almost every solution.

A product of Klingon science.

A product with 'ZERO DEFECTS' doesn't ship!

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A program has at least 1 variable, 1 branch, 1 loop... and 1 bug!

A program is used to convert data into error messages.

A proliferation of new laws creates a proliferation of new loopholes.

A propeller is just a fan to keep the pilot cool.

A pseudonym is a nym that is not your real nym.

A pushing sort of girl, a very pushing little person.

A pussy is like a potato chip: You can't eat just one.

A rabbit can blow its ears off by sneezing.

A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.

A rat is a pig is a dog is a boy.

A really great man is one who makes others feel great!

A really plain woman is one who however beautiful, neglects to charm.

A recent survey shows that 9 out of 10 people hate surveys

A red spaceship on the monitor, your vileness. --Calvin.

A redheaded mistress in leather. Be afraid, be very afraid!

A remote control to locate your other remote controls.

A replacement must be requested as soon as possible. --HoloDoc.

A right delayed is a right denied. --Martin Luther King.

A right isn't a right unless it's right.

A ring of conflict is a bad thing if there is a nurse in the room.

A road map tells you everything except how to refold it.

A rolling stone gathers momentum.

A root is a flower that disdains fame.

A rose is a rose... unless it's Odo.

A rumor has no legs but spreads anyway.

A running mate is a husband who dared to talk back.

A sadist is a person who is kind to a masochist.

A sadness shared is a sadness halved.

A saint is a dead sinner revised and edited.

A scratch? You're arm's off! --King Arthur, The Holy Grail.

A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.

A secretary becomes a permanent fixture when screwed on desk.

A seeming ignorance is often a most necessary part of worldly knowledge.

A self-addressed envelope would be addressed to "Envelope", right?

A self-starting oscillator won't.

A sense of humor is the best revenge.

A sense of humor like mine will not go unpunished.

A sense of wrong doing is an enhancement of pleasure.

A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.

A sentient 1701-D: Engage it yourself, Picard!

A sentient 1701-D: Hey there, DS9, wanna dock?

A series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium? Successive approximation...

A sharp knife is nothing without a sharp eye. --Koloth.

A sharp tongue and a dull mind are often found in the same head.

A shining beacon of garish neon signs and tourist traps...

A shining beacon, all alone in the Net. This is the echo, Terok Nor.

A ship in the harbor is safe, but that is not what ships were built for.

A short cut is the longest distance between two points.

A short guy with furry feet found a ring and threw it into a volcano.

A shot in the dark is better than nothing. * Geordi

A shot of reality never hurt anyone:%@^$## NO CARRIER

A shot rang out, "BARNEY" hit the floor. No more purple dinosaur!

A shotgun wedding is a matter of wife or death.

A show of books is no proof of wisdom.

A shrimp sole my girl; I lobster and haven't flounder!

A shroe! A shroe! My dingkom for a shroe!

A sigh is a silent scream...

A sigh is an amplifier for people who suffer in silence.

A sign of our times: "N O R A D I O I N C A R"

A signature shows much of a person, sometimes even a name.

A simile is like a metaphor.

A simple `no' would have worked --Richie Ryan.

A simple handshake would have sufficed. --Picard.

A simple idea will be worded in the most complicated way.

A simple yes would have sufficed. --Picard.

A sine curve goes off to infinity or at least the end of the blackboard.

A single death is a tragedy, a million deaths a statistic. --Joseph Stalin.

A skeptic is a person who would ask God for his ID card.

A slip NEVER heard aboard the Enterprise: Welcome a Borg.

A small price to pay for immortality.

A smile is a curve that can set a lot of things straight.

A smile is a window on your face that shows your heart is home.

A smile is worth a thousand words.

A smile, slightly dangerous, touches my face for just a moment.

A sneeze. Billions and billions of snot particles. --Tom.

A society that needs disclaimers has too many lawyers.

A soft answer turneth away wrath. --Proverbs 15:1.

A spanking, a spanking!

A spanking? There's going to be a spanking!?! *PANT* *PANT*

A spectre of revenge, riding the flow tide home.

A spoonful of honey will catch more flies than a gallon of vinegar.

A spoonful of sugar helps any medicine go down.

A squirrel is just a rat with good P.R.

A stiff apology is a second insult.

A stockbroker is someone who invests your money until it is all gone.

A strange game. The only winning move is not to play. --W.O.P.R.

A student who changes the course of history is probably taking an exam.

A successful tool is used to do something undreamed of by its author.

A succubus will go farther than a nymph.

A sucking chest wound is nature's way of saying slow down.

A sufficiently advanced god would use evolution.

A suicidal blonde is one who dyed by her own hand.

A supercomputer is a machine, that runs an endless loop in just 2 seconds.

A sure-fire formula for living to be one hundred - keep breathing!

A surprised Data is propositioned by the Enterprise's Computer.

A sweater is a garment worn by a child when his mother feels chilly.

A sytem error has ocurred, ID -666. ((Behead)) (Dismember)

A tag line is like a bungie on a jumper because ___________?

A tank that can't shoot is merely an 80-ton portable radio.

A tape drive is like a tape worm; it just keeps on eating.

A tautologically redundant plethora of surplusage.

A tautology is a thing which is tautological.

A tax that's labeled temporary will celebrate its centenary.

A teacher is but the student who shares his knowledge.

A technique is a trick that works.

A termite walked into a bar and asked "Is the bartender here?"

A thief believes that everybody steals.

A thing is not necessarily true because a man dies for it. --Oscar Wilde.

A tisket, a Bobbitt, she hacked it off and lobbed it.

A titanic intellect... In a world full of icebergs.

A toe is a device for finding furniture in the dark.

A toyota backwards is still a toyota!

A tree falls. Hits Milli Vanilli. Someone else screams.

A tree never hits an automobile (except in self-defense)

A triangle which has an angle of 135 degrees is called an obscene triangle.

A triangle will tell you that God is three-sided.

A tribble a day keeps the Trekkies away... or is it Trekkers now?

A true Gentleman allways lets his lady cum first...

A true Klingon warrior does not steal taglines.

A true adman writes the prose and cons.

A true subwoofer makes the concrete shake beneath you.

A truly advanced planet wouldn't use force.

A truth that's told with bad intent/ Beats all the lies you can invent.

A truthful politician is like a fish that can't swim.

A type II phaser beats four aces. - Worf, bad poker night

A united Germany means even less sunbeds

A useless life is an early death.

A user is known by the files he downloads.

A vacuum-tube brain in a microchip world.

A vegetarian is one who eats vegetables... BEWARE HUMANITARIANS!

A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's printed on. --Samuel Goldwyn.

A virus scan program in OS/2: Found: WINDOWS Delete? Y/n?

A war put off is not a war avoided. --Charlton Heston.

A warrior does not complain of physical discomfort. --Worf.

A warrior's mate does NOT say "jIh'wuQ" (I have a headache)!

A watched pot never disappears.

A wedding band is the smallest handcuff in the world.

A wedding ring is like a tourniquet, it cuts off your circulation.

A wheelbarrow! Why didn't you list that as one of our assests?

A whip's blow raises welts, a blow of the tongue crushes bones.

A whip, some chains and thou...

A whip?... Maybe she wants to be friends again!

A whore is a whore for the same reason some of us aren't.

A wife is NOT a handicap! Park elsewhere!

A wife is a woman who dresses to kill and cooks the same way.

A wise man once said... Water is Wet!

A wise monkey don't monkey around with another monkey's monkey.

A wise old man once told me never to listen to a wise old man.

A wise princess once said: Sometimes a frog is just a frog.

A witticism, a bon mot, a... THAT'S ENOUGH, DATA!

A woman came up to me and said, "I'd like to poison your mind"

A woman can be happy with any man as long as she doesn't love him.

A woman cries before the wedding; a man after.

A woman dropped into Isaac Newton's lap... he discovered depravity!

A woman has to be twice as good as a man to go half as far.

A woman is a person who reaches for a chair when the phone rings.

A woman is always buying something. --Ovid.

A woman knows the value of love, but a man knows its cost.

A woman may veil her face with a smile.

A woman should have compassion. --Kirk, Catspaw, stardate 3018.2.

A woman who hates her father will end up hating you.

A woman with PMS and ESP is a b*tch who knows it all.

A woman's accusation is all that is need to for conviction.

A woman's chief asset is man's imagination.

A woman's choice can kill a man.

A woman's mind is cleaner than a man's: she changes it more often.

A woman's place is in the home... usually next to the telephone.

A woman's place is in the house and sweeping the Senate floor!

A womans no is ok, but a mans no is insensistivity?

A woman was in love with fourteen soldiers; it was platoonic.

A wookie is an over-sized tribble with an attitude.

A word beginning with F and ending with UCK? Firetruck.

A writer looks upon a book review critic the way trees look upon dogs.

A yawn is a silent shout.

A year spent in artificial intelligence is enough to make one believe in God.

A young doctor means a new graveyard. --German proverb.

A zebra cannot change its spots. --Al Gore.

A) You didn't ask. --Ivanova.

A)bort R)etry I)nfluence with large hammer.

A)bort, R)etry, I)gnore, V)alium?

A)bort, R)etry, P)anic

A)bort, R)etry, U)se a bigger hammer

A, B, ... (Long time, no C)

A-BORG-rigine: Australia is irrelevant.

A. EINSTEIN - Gone Fission

A. Einstein: "Every once in a while, stop and enjoy an ice cream cone."

A.A.A.A.A. American Association Against Acronym Abuse.

A.E.G.'s are available from FTP://clover.cleaf.com

A4000/040 OS 3.1 Toaster 4000/3.1: Lovin' every minute of it!

A:I'm a lawyer. B:Honest? A:No, the usual kind.

A:\ B:\ C:\ - Alphabet of a new generation.

A:\MOTHER.DNA+B:\FATHER.DNA C:\BABY.EXE

A=B : A^2=AB : A^2-B^2=AB-B^2 : (A+B)(A-B)=B(A-B) : A+B=B : 2B=B : 2=1

AAC: Alter All Commands

AAD: Alter All Data

AAO: Add And Overflow

AAR: Alter At Random

AAcckk!! II''mm iinn hhaallff dduupplleexx..

AArrgghh!! II''mm iinn ffuull dduupplleexx!!

ABACUS....Binary the easy way :-)

ABCDE: A Beast Can Destroy Earth.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMN PQRSTUVWXYZ - Hole in the "O" zone.

ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPRSTUVWXYZ... "Where the hell is Q?" - J. L. Picard

ABOLISH HOSTILITY - KISS MY FRIENDLY ASS.

ABR: Add Beyond Range

ABrac Cadabra News?

AC & DC charged and ready to go....

ACADEMY(n): modern school where football is taught

ACC: Advance CPU Clock

ACDC: Allow Controller to Delete Contents

ACDP: Allow Controller to Die Peacefully

ACK and you shall receive.

ACK! Who turned reality back on?

ACK-NAK-ACK-NAK. Modem in hay fever season?

ACLU - American Criminal Lobbyist Union

ACQT: Advance Clock to Quitting Time

ACQUISITION RULE: 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.

ACRONYM: Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning

AD&D Advice: It is unwise to meddle in the affairs of wizards.

AD&D Error #89: Never *moon* a Werewolf!

AD&D Mistake #175: Don't EVER tease a dragon.

AD&D Quote: "Of course I'm a wizard, son. I've got a tall pointy hat!"

AD&D Quote: I disarmed the trap.

AD&D Rule: +5 Platemail only comes in two sizes, too large & too small.

ADB: Another Damn Bug

ADD: Pentium mind, memory by Murphy!

ADDING MANPOWER TO A LATE SOFTWARE MAKES IT LATER.

AEE: Absolve Engineering Errors

AFF: Add Fudge Factor

AFP: Abnormalize Floating Point

AFR: Abort Funny Routine

AFVC: Add Finagle's Variable Constant

AG: Add Gibberish

AGB: Add GarBage

AGO: Allow Games Only

AGT: All Good Things. The final episode from ST:TNG.

AGWA: Add and Get Wrong Answer

AI: Add Improper

AI: Making computers behave like they do in the movies.

AIB: Attack Innocent Bystander

AIBOHPHOBIA (aa boh 'fo bee uh) n. - fear of palindromes

AIR-BORG by Nike. "Jump . . . or be assimilated."

AISG: Access and Improve Student Grade

AIXELSYD-008-1 :llac ,siht daer nac uoy fI

ALBERT EINSTEIN - Pass the Dice

ALERT! ALERT! No, Wait! It's TWO Lerts!

ALERT! Tagline assimilator, resistance is futile!

ALGOL 68 PROGRAMMERS do it od

ALIMONY: Buy now, pay later.

ALIMONY: Bye now, pay later.

ALIMONY: Corruption of Middle English "All ye money."

ALL AntiMatter Injectors are busy. One will be with you momentarily.

ALL probabilities are 50%, either a thing will happen or it won't.

ALLEN'S (CANN'S) AXIOM - When all else fails, read the instructions.

ALT-A for altered reality..

ALT-X, ALT-Q, ESC, CTRL-C...<GRRRRUMPH!>...*REBOOT*

ALT.COMPUSERVE.CENSOR.THIS

ALTZHEIMER.COM found . . . Out of . . . something.

AMBIDEXTROSE: Able to spoon sugar with either hand.

AMBITION: A poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

AMD? Cyrix? Intel Outside!

AMIGA Advantage #1: NO "Intel Inside" worries!

AMIGA(n):yesterday's technology, tomorrow.

AMIGA: Multitasking, GUI, full Plug & Play since 1985.

AMM: Add Mayo and Mustard

AMM: Answer My Mail

AMS: Add Memory to System

ANC: ANnoy Consultant

AND GOD SAID "E=1/2MV2-ZeR", and there was light!

ANFSCD: And Now For Something Completely Different

ANUS..Latin word for year. (Eg..Anus Domino - 1994 AD)

ANY KEY will initiate hard drive format. Continue? (Y/N)

ANY Problem can be solved by shooting the right person!

ANY key?? Where did they stick THAT one???????

ANYTHING is a better DOS than DOS!!!

AOI: Annoy Operator Immediate

AOL: A.merica O.n L.ies

AOL: Awareness Often Lacking

APL is a write-only language. -- Roy Keir

APX: Apply Power and eXplode

AR: Alter Reality

ARG: Agree to Run Garbage

ARGUMENT.COM invalid: (A)bort (K)ick (S)cream

ARJives: Long Distance Phone Company's nightmare!

ARN: Add Random Number

ARN: Add and Reset to Non-zero

ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER - Hasta La Vista, Baby

ARTHUR C. CLARKE - My God, it's full of stars!

ARZ: Add and Reset to Zero

AS: Add Sideways

ASBM: Add Soap to Bubble Memory

ASCII EOU code: End Of User - causes terminal to explode.

ASCII and ye shall receive.

ASCII me no questions & I'll ANSI you no lies.

ASCII to ASCII, DOS to DOS...

ASCII... Gotta have it!!!

ASCII: Outdated ANSI

ASCIIbetical order: data sorted in ASCII collated order

ASHes to ASHes, DOS to DOS.

ASL has 15 signs for stupidity; 3 for smart.

ASPR: Arithmetic Shift Passwords Right

ASQME - Anti Silly Quoting Macros Environmentalist

ASSUME: Makes an ASS of U and ME.

AT&T - Call now and we will rip you off for free!

AT&T Subspace: The next best thing to beaming there.

AT&T with a collect call from the Gamma Quad. Will YOU take the charge

AT: Accumulate Trivia

ATDT 911 . . . NO CARRIER

ATM and Windows: Great Fonts on the Free!

ATST: At The Same Time (used by John Kahane)

ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0..ATZ0.. Oh, hell! Hang up!

AU YLOKS: (Goldilocks).

AUTHORIZED TO USE ALL MEANS TO DESTROY THE ENTERPRISE - Starfleet HQ

AUX PWR LOW AUX PWR FAIL 20, 19, 18 Computer on Jurassic Park

AWACS - Allways Washing And Cleaning Something.

AWACS - America's War Against Common Sense

AWP: Argue With Programmer

AWTT: Assemble With Tinker Toys

Aaahh! Look out for that priest*$@^### NO MARRIER

Abandon all hope... Pandora took the money.

Abandon all hope ye who have entered cyberspace.

Abandon all hope ye who press ENTER here...

Abandon ship. This is not a drill. --Data.

Abe Lincoln did NOT die in vain... he died in Washington, DC. --TFT

Abolish mornings!

Abort the whales, Stripmine Yosemite, Reactors for all!

Abort, Retry, Cry

Abort, Retry, Fail, Wait. Engine start sequence?

Abort, Retry, Forget it!

Abort, Retry, Ignore, Fail, Nuke...

Abortion means never having to say "Happy Birthday!"

About as likely as a lonely Tribble!

About you, until you are ready to fight legends. --Kosh.

Above all else a god needs compassion! --Kirk.

Absence and death are the same... only in death, there's no suffering.

Absence of Evidence is not Evidence of Absence

Absence of evidence is evidence of absence of proof.

Absent in body, but present in spirit. --1 Corinthians 5:3

Absolute Zero is cool, 0K?

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Ergo God is Evil.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. Just look at God.

Absolute zero freezes absolutly.

Absolute zero is cool.

Absolutely I will not interfere! --Chechov

Abstinentiums - 586s owned by users who don't do floating point math.

Abstract Logic: 1. See definition 2. 2. See definition 1.

Abstraction is achieved by data hiding and enforced by encapsulation.

Abuse a man unjustly, and you will make friends for him. --Howe.

Abuse is a temporary display of power.

Abuse only as directed.

Abused Wife: Tragic Victim. Abused Husband: Laughing Stock.

Academic Creed-If you steal from more than six people, it's research!

Accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior? That'd be really selfish!

Accept an Honorable Surrender.

Accept challenges so you may feel the exhilaration of victory. --Patton.

Accept finite disappointment, never lose infinite hope. --MLK.

Accept me for what I am: completely unacceptable.

Accept no sheep imitations.

Acceptable or not, sir, it is the truth. --Data.

Access denied - nah nah na nah nah!

Access to information is the essence of freedom. --Dean Koontz

Accessing SLIP server... Entering my I.P. address. --Crow

Accessing. Reboot. Shut down. --Crow as girl thinks.

Accident unavoidable. Continue anyway?

According to Dante, the center of Hell IS frozen over!

According to Decartes, Al Gore doesn't exist.

According to Intel the Pentium bug happens once every 26.937649 years.

According to Quantum Theology, there is an average of one god.

According to my Doctor, patients ARE a virtue.

According to my calculations the problem doesn't exist.

According to the Weather Channel, hell just froze over.

Ace, give me a can of that nitro-nine you're NOT carrying. -7th Doctor

AceDOS 7.0 : (C)arry big Radio (L)auch ATR at Dalek (N)ito-9

Acetone: What you get when you pick up the telephone.

Ach! Sss--no! NO! Silly hobbits, foolish, yes foolish!

Ach, der elektromagnetische katzenklappe ist kaput!

Ach, me taglines! They canna take n'more, Capt'n! -Scotty

Acid absorbs 47 times it's weight in excess Reality.

Ack! A Moderator! Run away! Run away! (G)

Ack! I didn't realize I was so taglinable!

Ack! It's the infamous `Broccoli of Death'

Ackbar of Borg: We can't repel Assimilation of that magnitude...

Acknowledged. --Picard

Acme Tagline Company. Licensed tagline vendors.

Act with honor, but retain humility. --Lao Tzu.

Acting Station Chief Petty Warrant Transporter Officer JG O'Brien.

Acton's Law: Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.

Actors aren't quite human, but then again, who is?

Actors must make us think they're real. --Jim Morrison.

Actual newspaper headline, 1/17/77: "Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures"

Actual spelling is C'thulhu. Beware! I will not be denied!

Actual war is a very messy business. --Kirk.

Actually, Cats are excellent at domesticating people

Actually, I really like running around the ship in my bare feet.

Actually, the Windows 3.1 source code fits in one APL line.

Actually, the word "Earther" itself is unfortunate, I prefer Terran.

Ad Hoc, Ad Nauseum and Ad Hominen: the Holy Trinity of Stringfellow

Ad Nauseam: Commercials that make you puke.

Ad from 2010: Pentium PC for sale, am switching to gas heat.

Adam asked "What's a Headache?"

Adam to God: "What, no more free pizza?"

Adam was created first to give him a chance to say something.

Adam was the first man in space.

Adams, it is a qoute from Zaphod Beeblebrox.

Adapt or Die. The real Law of Nature.

Add DEVICE=FNGRCROS.SYS to CONFIG.SYS

Add a feature... Add a bug...

Add a grain of truth to a Tribble and you get another Tribble.

Adding manpower to a late software project makes it later. --Brook

Address - Type of attire worn by some female programmers.

Address not found: (A)bort (F)ail (R)un (S)h** (G)oBlind |-)

Address not found: (A)bort (R)etry (F)reak Out! |-)

Admiral Bullitt, you only have the CONN temporarily. --Picard.

Admiral Cartright: Arrest those men! [*] Spock: Arrest yourself!

Admiral Heinlein doesn't let the Soviets build spacecraft.

Admiral Nechayev cries herself to sleep 'coz Anna says she hates her.

Admiral! There be *whales* here! --Scotty.

Admiral, Hate you. Stole ship. Gone for 75 Yrs. Capt.

Admiral, there be whales here! Scotty, that's a mirror.

Adolescence: The stage between puberty and adultery.

Adolph Hitler comitted suicide. Neo-Nazis: Follow your leader.

AdricDOS 1.0: (M)ath (M)ath (m)ath

Adult GIF files are meant for testing monitors!

Adult wolves are always naked too. --Dire Wolf

Adult: One old enough to know better.

Adultery is the application of democracy to love.

Adults are obsolete children

Adults aren't wiser than children, just better liars.

Adventure. Excitement. A Jedi craves not these things. --Yoda.

Adversity causes some men to break; others to break records.

Advertising is legalized lying. --H.G. Wells.

Advice (noun): the smallest current coin.

Advice for parents with CyberActive kids...UNPLUG the modem !

Advice from the continuum - Q Tip

Advice is usually worth what it cost.

Advice to persons about to marry - DON'T!

Advice to worms: Sleep late.

Advice void if incorrect!

Advocaat: a Dutch drink made from lawyers.

Aeon Flux of Borg: Trevor, your demented little scheme is irrelevant.

Aerobics: Converting software to firmware

Aerodynamics are for people who cannot build engines. --Enzo Ferrari

Aesthetically deprived: ugly

Affairs with nymphs are often very expensive.

Affirmative Action for Feminazis just means more female prisons.

Afraid of a Hard Drive Crash? Install Air Bags.

Afraid of nymphs? Wear a ring of adornment.

After 4 decimal places WHO CARES!!!!!!

After 46 decimal places nobody cares anyway.

After Clinton, *everyone* looks more qualified to be President!

After World War III, only roaches and lawyers will survive.

After a couple years in space, even Neelix starts to look good.

After a couple years in space, even Quark starts to look good.

After a hard drive you can get a little floppy

After a long bath Worf sees the fleas as his true friends

After a thousand years the darkness has come again - G'kar.

After all is said and done, more is said than done.

After all that practice, Bill Clinton still doesn't lie well.

After all, that's what 'omniscient' *means*, isn't it? --Q.

After death all men smell alike. --Italian Proverb.

After god created woman, beer was the bug fix...

After knowing you, I no longer desire to be human. --Data.

After much thought Picard assumes the bowling ball phase.

After my nervous breakdown they did a low level format of my brain.

After seeing Windows I realized Bill Gates is an idiot.

After taxes eternal damnation comes down to just a sort of bad feeling.

After the Texas Chainsaw Massacre: Rest In Pieces

After the game, the king and the pawn go into the same box.

After the lawyers are all dead, kill the Politicians!

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in? --S.W.

After things go from bad to worse the cycle repeats.

After three days of intense pain, the snake died. --Riker

After trying Camels, nine out of ten men prefer women...

After we pull the pin, Mister Grenade is NOT our friend!

After you blow in her ear, a blonde says "Thanks for the refill"!

After you read this tagline, it will self-destruct in 5 seconds.

After you use Kleenex, does it become Dirtiex?

After you've had a lobotomy, you don't care about...uh, about...

After-math [n], The period following algebra.

Aftermath: Lots of pterodactyls in the news.

Afternoon siesta...formatting 360k on the XT

Again and again and again - what are the facts?

Again, your mileage may vary.. :)

Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain.

Against logic, there is no armor like ignorance.

Agent Mulder believes that we are not alone

Agent Mulder, FBI. Please drop the sword, Mr. MacLeod.

Aggressive stupidity can be an incredibly powerful weapon.

Aggressive woman: One who speaks her mind and doesn't act like a bimbo.

Agh burzum ishi krimpatul... inscription on Ring, Gandalf.

Aging could be delayed if it had to go through Congress.

Aging is not bad. The real killer is when you stop.

Agnes Allen's Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.

Agrajag- "You may go after I have killed you."

Agreed, It smells like a trap. Let's go.

Ah Sarcasm, Gotta love it. -- Garrison Jim of Bajor.

Ah so. You want connect China?...%$#@& - SO SORRY. NO TICKEE. NO CALLEE.

Ah thank you,... but this is not,... I,... ah hell! --Ivanova

Ah yes, the Garden of Eden. Just outside Moscow. --Chekov.

Ah! I have access. --Data.

Ah! I see you have the machine that goes PING!

Ah! Mozart. He was happily married... but his wife wasn't.

Ah! Plain, simple Garak. --Bashir.

Ah'm Leghorn of Borg. Prepare, ah say, prepare to be assimilated, son.

Ah, A Conscience!, What The Hecks A Conscience. --Ren.

Ah, I know this one. --Londo.

Ah, I love the rattle of a HD in the morning.

Ah... A game! --Data.

Aha, rules of the game, go on- Quark

Ahead Warp Factor 11. Engage! !egagnE .11 rotcaF praW daehA

Ahead warp factor one, Mr. Sulu.

Ahead you will go, my day you will make! Hmm? --Dirty Yoda.

Ahem, said the Dragon, killing the party.

Ahh - a desq with a view!

Aim for service, not success and success will follow.

Air Conditioned Controlled Environment, Do Not Open Windows!

Air Resistance is a drag...

Air Traffic Controller's Nightmare: A flock of F-117's on final.

Air bags - inflation we can live with!

Air is water with holes in it.

Airbags won't help...when this machine crashes!

Airline slogan: "Our pilots never make the same mistake twice!"

Airman Tribble first class: \\*//

Airplane: Lots of parts flying in close formation.

Airplanes kill you quick. A woman takes her time.

Airport elevator music: "Hare Krishna. Hare Krishna...."

Airport not found. (C)ircle, (S)hout, (P)anic?

Airstrikes overshoot the target while artillery always falls short.

Al Bundy and his Deadly Ninja Dirty Socks of Death

Al Bundy of Borg. "Do I hafta assimilate ya tonight, Peg"

Al Bundy on the Enterprise! On the next Oprah!

Al Gore (c) 1992 Copyright Walt Disney Audioanimatronics.

Al Gore has a room-temperature IQ.

Al Gore is temperamental: 50% temper, 50% mental.

Al Gore: the EDLIN of Vice-Presidents.

Al, I need more money; what you need is a second job. -- Peg

Al: Peg, she bit me on the neck. Now I'll live forever!

Alaskan spill: Flow control problemno EXXON/EXXOFF.

Alcohol, Caffeine, Nicotine, Chocolate: The 4 Food Groups

Alcohol, kills the living, preserves the dead!

Ale. Romulan. Lots. -- Kirk

Alexander wants a tribble...On next S.T.: The Adolescent Generation.

Alexander, would you mind if I borrowed your toy for a while? Picard

Alf of Borg: All cats will be assimilated.

Alf to Replicator, "Cat, Tabby, live!"

Alfred Hitchcooking: Stabbing frozen food to speed up cooking.

Algebra: It's easier than 386SX work!

Algol - The husband of Polygol, their missing daughter is Polygon.

Algorithm means the vice-president plays the drums.

Alice! Go put more ice on the fire!

Aliens Invaded Los Angeles (And No One Noticed)

Aliens: We hAvE yOuR mArS pRoBe. We WaNt 1 bIlIiOn CrEdItS iN 24 Hrs.

Alimoney: The fee a woman charges for name-dropping.

Alimony - the screwing you get for the screwing you got.

Alimony is having to say you're sorry once a month.

Alimony: 'Bye now, pay later.

Alimony: When your former spouse is living beyond your means.

Alimony: same as paying monthly car payments _after_ the wreck.

Alimony: the high cost of leaving.

Alka SeltzBorg: I can't believe I assimilated the WHOOOOLE thing!!

All E-mail gladly received. Offensive reply ASAP.

All I ask is a tall ship and a star to sail her by. -- Kirk

All I did was press E-N-T-E-R, like the screen said!?

All I ever wanted was an unfair advantage.

All I know is normal is not what I think. --Mulder.

All I need is $1,000,000. Care to make a donation?

All I need is a warm smile, a kind word, and unlimited money.

All I want is 20,000 machine guns, said the dictator disarmingly.

All I'm interested in is justice. - Odo

All Indians walk in single file; I know, because I saw one do it.

All Japanese words end in vowels or the letter N.

All Right! Drop Your Carrier! We have You Surrounded!

All THESE WORLDS ARE YOURS EXCEPT EUROPA - ATTEMPT NO LANDINGS THERE.

All Taglines Currently Busy ... Please Try Again Later.

All Tribbles must be destroyed!: del ***.***

All Windows break - not just the glass ones !

All along, Bill Gates has been beta-tester for Dr. Chandra.

All answers questioned here.

All answers subject to change in the next ten minutes.

All are sacred to the Lord and Lady

All bees know that time is honey.

All believers in telekinesis raise my hand.

All but Worf: SHUT UP.

All caps is considered screaming.

All comm lines busy. Perform emergency break to Captain? [Y/n]

All commercial jets have a black box. (So do most blondes.)

All components contain magic smoke. Don't let it escape.

All computers crash at the same speed.

All computers wait at the same speed.

All constants are variables. --Murphy's Law of Mathematics,

All cruelty springs from weakness. - Seneca the Younger

All fighters, fire at will. - Ivanova

All files renamed using random characters. Delete children (Y/N) ?

All food is Fat-Free - if you don't eat it.

All gods play with loaded dice.

All good work is done in defiance of management. - Bob Woodward

All government is theft, some just steal less

All great discoveries are made when feelings run ahead of thinking.

All great ideas have been controversial, at one time.

All hail Lord Q, high lord and co-moderator of the Tagline Continuum!

All her transistors are n-type.

All hope abandon, ye who [ENTER] here!

All humans are born free and equal in dignity and rights.

All humans are subject to decay.

All humor is derived from pain, ergo nothing in Heaven is funny. -Twain

All illegal aliens must register with NASA.

All in all, it's just another brick in the wall. - Pink Floyd

All in life is a waking dream and in death is the final awakening. --Q

All law is codified revenge.

All left-handed people, please raise your right hand!

All life forms in the galaxy are capable of superior development. -Kirk

All life is a conjugation of the verb "to eat."

All mathematics are trivial. -- Mike Roddy

All mathochists suffer from calculust.

All men are animals. (But some make good pets.)

All men are born free and equal but some get married.

All men are created unequal. -- Heinlein

All men are different, but husbands are all alike.

All men are ignorant, just in different fields - Einstein

All my brains are on paper, and the ink is fading.

All my good taglines are in my other computer.

All new [The software is not compatible with previous versions]

All new Pentium systems now come with a *free* pocket calculator!

All of the chaos makes perfect sense.

All of this may mean something. * Picard

All of us are dead, sooner or later. I'll opt for *later*, if possible

All one needs is ignorance and confidence, and then success is assured

All opinions are my own. Won't buy, sell, or trade.

All our races stand on the edge of extinction - G'Kar.

All our reps are busy, however our 1-900 number.....

All paths are one Path; your current path is C:\WICCA

All people smile in the same language.

All police killings are in self-defense.

All politics is based on the indifference of the majority

All possible disclaimers hereby claimed.

All power corrupts, but we need electricity, D.W. Jones

All real programs contain errors.

All religions are real for the believer.

All reports are in! Life is now officially unfair! -- Iago

All requests for sick leave must be approved two weeks in advance.

All right! Who spilled the Ansi everywhere and didnt clean it up(g).

All right, Q, that's enough. Picard

All right, who erased the First Amendment again?

All science is either physics or stamp collecting. -- E. Rutherford

All sunshine makes a desert.

All syllogisms have three parts. Therefore, this is not a syllogism.

All systems operating - Data

All the bad things I've heard about algebra are true.

All the female ensigns to Commander Riker's quarters for debriefing!

All the jump-jets are down? !@#@&*^ NO HARRIERS

All the snow has turned to water. Christmas days have come and gone.

All the stories were true, especially the lies. - Garak

All the world is a Schrodinger box, and we are merely kitties.

All the world's a stage and I've got obstructed view seats.

All warfare is based on deception. - Sun Tzu, The Art of War

All warranties expire upon payment of invoice.

All wars are popular - for at least 30 days.

All we can hold in our dead hands, is all we have given away. (Sanskrit)

All we had to do was upload Windows 95 to the Borg...

All women are automatically born with a shopping disorder.

All women are vipers, and I married their Queen.

All words are pegs on which to hang ideas.

All you have to do is live long enough. - Duncan MacLeod

All you need to know is the user interface. - J. Redford

Allons enfants de le Cthulhu!

Alright! Who gave a copy of Penthouse to the Holodeck?

Alternate Zucchini Use #13: Drop them onto the Bosnian Serbs.

Alternate Zucchini Use #15: Demonstrate your knives' sharpness.

Although the moon is smaller than the earth, it is farther away.

Although the tongue weighs very little, few people are able to hold it

Always Coca-Cola.

Always address your elders with respect; they could leave you a fortune.

Always after a defeat...the Shadow takes another shape and grows again

Always be sincere - Even when you don't mean it. - L. Long

Always borrow from a pessimist - they never expect it back.

Always drive slower than your guardian angel can fly.

Always forgive you enemies - nothing annoys them so much.

Always in motion is the Future-- Yoda.

Always listen to experts tell you why it can't be done, then do it.

Always look on the bright side of life -- Eric Idle

Always remember that a moving neutrino gathers no mass.

Always remember that it takes two to start a flamewar.

Always remember, to copy a disk is not to Xerox it.

Always remove hands from keyboard before typing WIN.COM

Always remove the last screw first.

Always riding the ragged edge of disaster

Always save money for one phone call and one use of a pay toilet.

Always save the last bullet for yourself.

Always swim nude. Sharks hate to peel their food.

Always wear seatbelts when using Windoze - very prone to crash.

Am I my brother's keeper? - Genesis 3:19

Am I paranoid, or does this 'puter really hate me?

Amazon.com is suing Barnes-n-Nobles 'cause they sell books too.

Ambassador Delenn told me what happened. - Garibaldi

Ambassador Kosh for Galactic Express: "Do..you..know..me.?.no...Good."

Ambassador, your logic escapes me - Picard

America Online: now with as much bandwith as a telegraph.

America was not discovered by Americans, shame on them.

America: Home of the richest poor people in the world.

American kids have Nintendo; Japanese kids have homework.

Americans Unite! You have nothing to fear but Ferengi tax collectors!

Americans are guaranteed all the justice they can afford!

Americans don`t plan to fail; they fail to plan.

Amiga - Macht einfach Spass.

Amiga - Motorola Inside

Amiga - the step between Nintendo and IBM.

Amiga Error #1 System crashed - Intelligent user detected

Amiga Error #2 User reached puberty, unable to continue

Amiga Error #5 Joystick not connected, system crashed

Amiga Error #7 Fatal ERROR - Non game detect

Amiga: Real multitasking and faster windows. Try again, Bill!

Amiga: THE reason Babylon 5 exsists

Amiga: Try formatting 4 floppies at a time on your PC!!!!

AmigaTrek: Guru Meditation Error Task:0000 1701 Location:1701 ABCD

Amityville - A good place to be from - FAR from!

Amoeba to Human: Ever think about what's in your drinking water?

Amoebit: Amoeba/rabbit cross; it can multiply and divide at the same time.

An AOLer and their money are easily separated.

An Elephant Is Just A Mouse Built To Gov't Specs!

An Imperial probe droid...it's a good bet the Empire knows we're here.

An Upgrade: Take out old bugs, put new ones in.

An ambassador is an honest man sent to lie abroad for his country.

An angel always thinks you're worth the effort.

An answer. I don't know the question. * Kirk

An ant that chews its cud is a ruminANT.

An ant that comes from another colony is an immigrANT.

An ant that is not close is distANT.

An armed man is a Citizen, an unarmed man is a target.

An axiom is a thing that is so visible that it is not necessary to see it.

An effective way to deal with predators is to taste terrible.

An efficient bureaucracy is the greatest threat to liberty.

An elegant weapon, from a more civilized age. -- Obi Wan Kenobi

An empty bus travels fast.

An endless loop keeps going and going and going and going and going and

An engagement is a period of urge on the verge of a merge.

An error becomes a mistake only when you refuse to correct it.

An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.

An evening with Dax... Bashir's trill of a lifetime.

An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less. L.Long

An eye for an eye leaves the world blind. -Gandhi

An honest politician is one who, when bought, stays bought.

An inch of informed ignorance can save a mile of coding.

An interesting statistic: 95.1%. That's about everyone.

An invisible car came out of nowhere, stuck my car and vanished.

An invisible elephant? --Scully.

An object at rest cannot be stopped!

An obvious ant is flagrANT.

An open mind gathers no dust.

An optimist invented an airplane; a pessimist a parachute

An overweight ant is abundANT.

An oyster is a fish built like a nut.

An umbilical cord is part of a parachute.

An unarmed society is a society that must live in fear of government!

An unbrakable toy is useful for breaking other toys. -- Van Roy's Law

Anagram...Santa = Satan

Anagram...pentium = put me in

Anahl nathrac...uthvoss bethard...dothiel dienvay!

Anarchist: Government plots cause Sh*t to happen

Anarchy works! Ask any Usenet-Site.

Ancestor not found -- Operator Halted.

Ancestor not found. (Retry) (Abort) (Panic).

Ancestors - They can hide, but they can't run anymore!

Ancient Chinese Curse: May all your wishes be granted.

Ancient Egyptians worshipped cats. Cats never forgot it.

And God said "Let there be Spam(tm)!" And the spam was good.

And God said ATDT14043457324 And there was a Connection!

And God said to man, "Engage."

And God said, "Let Chandrasekhar be"... and all had it's limits.

And God said, "Let Einstein be"... and all was relative.

And God said, "Let Heisenberg be"... and all was uncertain.

And God said, "Let Ohm be"... and all resisted thereafter.

And God said, "Let Planck be"... and all was quantified.

And God said, "Let there be Rule 8." And there was Rule 8.

And God said, "Let there be Windoze...and he rested on that day."

And God said, "Let there be light! No! A BUD Light!"

And God said, NO NO, DON'T TOUCH THA... Big Bang!

And God smote Egypt with a plague of zucchini

And Godzilla gets a full point for throwing Barney into Tokyo Harbor!

And I always thought Bonapetite was a small..

And I am a material girl. Wanna see my fabric collection?

And I though this was going to be simple....

And I thought *I* had problems!

And I thought *I* was pessimistic.- Ivanova

And I thought I wasn't going to like him. -Odo to Quark.

And I thought computers where supposed to make our lives easier!

And I thought they smelled bad on the outside! -- Han Solo

And Lao-tse said: Those who know don't tell; those who tell don't know

And Man said, "Let there be God," and there was God!

And Our product is SQL ready, Borland International.

And Satan said to God, Yes, but where will YOU find a lawyer?

And THIS, Wesley, is an airlock. Take a good, long look...

And The Fish Just Go Ape For It - Ren.

And Vir, don't give away the home world. --Londo.

And a UNIX user said, rm -r * and all was null and void...

And a double dumb-ass on you! -- Kirk

And all the Borg left was a copy of Windows '95.

And allow me to continue to reiterate...

And behind door #3 is Windows NT! Awwwww. Better luck next time.

And by the way, Professor: Welcome to the 24th Century. * Picard

And crawling on the planet's face, some insect called the human race.

And darkness was upon the face of the deep. - Genesis 1:2

And don't ever start a sentence with a conjunction.

And each time we stop, we fall. --Jim Morrison

And for my next performance, a DOS application that LOOKS like Windows!

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.

And from these specifics, what conclusion can you extrapolate? - Troi

And futhermore... NO CARRIER

And god said "Let there be crap" and an AMIGA appeared

And god said, "I meant a Bud Light!!!"

And he disappeared in a puff of logic.

And he wrestles with emotions that defeat him.

And he'll come creepsy and tricksy and catch us! - Gollum

And if so, why not?

And in the news.... check out the next message.

And it is *Worf*, madame, not `*Woof*'! -- Worf

And just one more thing...

And many MILES to go before I sleep.

And never ever fear. Fear is for the enemy. Fear and bullets.

And night after night we pretend it's all right. - Pink Floyd

And now a word from our modem+++ ATH0 NO CARRIER

And now for something completely different! - Monty Python

And now for something completely else...

And now for something completely the same...

And now for your listening pleasure, Worf will sing Klingon Opera...

Are you sure this isn't the time for a colorful metaphor? --Spock, ST IV.

Artificial Weightlessness --Andy Gravity

Avoid FAT on your hard disk! Use ext2fs instead!