This is a collection of taglines (one-liners), selected from the huge database at www.taglinesgalore.com.

C Code, C Code run, Run Code Run ! *Please* Run Code !

C Error #009: FATAL! Portable code found

C Error #022: Missing period eh? Core dump...

C U L8TR

C Windows run. C Windows crash. C user cry.

C code. C code run. Run code run! Aw come on code! RUN!

C&W music backward: get yer dog, wife, job, truck, kids, n'sobriety back

C&W pick:If I'd Shot You Sooner,I'd Be Out of Jail by Now

C> ... Formatting Universe, 0.0000000000000000001% complete

C++ Where only your friends can access your private parts

C++ programmers earn money by inheritance.

C, the power of ASM with the flexibility of ASM

C-3PO of Borg: Master Luke! We will be Assimilated! Oh, my...

C-3PO: "Might I inquire what's going on?" Han Solo: "Why not?"

C.I.A. -- A contradiction in terms most of the time.

C.O.P.'s. . . . Criminals On Payroll

C/C++: So simple a child could do it? Go find me a child!

C: Drive Error: (A)bort, (R)etry, (D)estruct

C: Drive failure. Oh no, it must be a Monday.. again.

C:\> CD IRAQ .. C:\IRAQ> DEL HUSSEIN.SDM

C:\> COPY A:\MOTHER.DNA+B:\FATHER.DNA C:\BABY.EXE

C:\> Police Not Found: Try Donut shop [Y/N]?

C:\CLINTON\TRUTH.COM not found (A)bort (R)etry (I)mpeach

C:\DOS\PROGRAMS\SYSTEM\OS2\UTILITIES\WINDOWS\DOCS\HELP\WHERE\AM\I???

CAN'T UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF FEAR

CAT. I hope that Schrodinger guy put litter in here.

CAT.COM started. Computer will barf a hairball in 5 secs.

CATFOOD.CAN not found...Eat Microsoft mouse? Y/N

CATapult: device for thowing cats long distances.

CAUTION! Breathing may be hazardous to your health.

CAUTION! Computer Store Ahead - Hide Credit Cards!

CAUTION! Contents under pressure.

CAUTION! Do Not Look Into Laser With Remaining Eye.

CAUTION! The mass of this product is 85 megatons energy equivalent.

CAUTION: Trigger-happy Klingon at tactical.

CBNC: Close, But No Cigar

CCITT: Can't Certify I Trust Telecom.

CCITT: Can't Conceive Intelligent Thoughts Today

CChheecckk yyoouurr dduupplleexx sswwiittcchh..

CHEKOV: What's emergency plan "B" ?

CHICKEN: Only animal eaten before birth and after death.

CHICKEN: The egg's way of making more eggs.

CIA Motto: In God we trust, all others we polygraph.

CIA mandatory privacy notice: your shower head is a hidden camera.

COBOL is an exercise in Artificial Inelegance!

COBOL is not dead, it just smells that way.

COBOL: Crude Outdated Boring Obsolete Language

COLD BOOT: What you get when you kick an eskimo.

COM1: Not responding Format Drive C: instead?

CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?

CONgress (n) - Opposite of PROgress

COPPER NITRATE: Policemen's overtime salary.

CP [NR] * Klingon prompt: Strike any user when ready.

CP/M < Windows 3.1 < DOS 5.0 < DESQView < UNIX < Mach

CPE1704TKS "The only winning move is not to play." --Joshua

CPU: C-3PO's mother.

CRONYM: Abbreviated Coded Rendition Of Name Yielding Meaning.

CRUNCH! "What're you doing, Worf!?" "Studying Data-Compression!"

CTRL+ALT+DEL to continue...

CURSOR: what you become when your system crashes

Cabbage: The age of a taxi.

Cadet Babette: You...call...me...QUEEN!

Cadet! I asked you a question! - Picard

Caffeine Allocation Error: COFFEE.SYS missing, Programmer halted.

Cahn's Axiom: When all else fails, read the instructions.

Cal is so old that his Social Security number is 4.

Calculus and Alcohol don't mix. Please don't drink and derive.

Calculus..... the agony and dx/dt

California Institute of Treknology

California driving: To Change lanes, first pull out your 9mm.

California: It is against state law to peel an orange in a hotel room.

Call 1-800-GET-COKE For More information. Always Coca-Cola.

Call 1-900-TAG-LINE for the current taglines.

Call The Bates Motel BBS: 1-800-BIG-NIFE

Call again tomorrow. - Picard

Call for the police, an ambulance & a pizza. See which arrives first.

Call me RS-232, I'm a serial killer.

Call out the vice squad! Someone's mounting a disk drive!

Call the Center for Abused Taglines

Call the Men of Science.

Call this whole thing off while there is still time! - Sheriaden.

Call waiting: Windows for your telephone.

Calling Dr. Howard, Dr. Fine, Dr. Howard...

Calm down, Ensign. Exactly WHICH button did you push?

Calorie: a unit of measure for how good food tastes. Garfield

Calvin: I'm sure they can track the Bee on radar.

Calvin: My personal gravity must have reversed polarity!

Camel: A quarter horse designed by a committee.

Camels live in Camelfornia.

Camus of Borg: We must resist even though resistance is useless.

Can God make a rock so big She can't lift it?

Can I call my spouse's lawyer if my lawyer if out of town?

Can I convince you to smile? --Jim Morrison

Can I deduct last years taxes as a bad investment?

Can I eat him, Boss? Huh, can I?

Can I go to prison for this?

Can I have my gloves back now? - O.J.

Can I help it if DELETE and ENTER are next to each other!

Can I leave now? My brain is full.

Can I put my boss in my twit filter?

Can I shout "Religion!" in a crowded science conference?

Can I uh, use your Communicator Dianna - Riker

Can I upgrade my hard drive to a Warp Drive?

Can I use my A.M. Radio after noon?

Can I yell "Crowded" In a moving firehouse?

Can I yell "movie!" in a crowded firehouse?

Can O' Worms. Open, Heat, & Eat. Ready in 15 mins.

Can YOU fly?

Can a program turn Data into error messages?????

Can a replicator be replicated?

Can a song change all the wrong to right? Can it stop a single tear?

Can a time traveler be late for an appointment?

Can a vampire catch AIDS...?

Can an atheist get insurance for "Act of God"?

Can anyone tell me what I'm doing out of bed!?

Can anyone tell me where in the manual RTFM is defined?

Can children have their own lawyer?

Can elephants fly?

Can one lawyer represent both of us?

Can one really be ethical through following someone else's rules?

Can priests turn other food into God, or only cookies?

Can the Borg assimilate Q?

Can the police give you a speeding ticket in a car wash?

Can violate the Prime Directive without wallowing like a beached whale.

Can we believe Nixon, just 'cause he SAYS he's dead?

Can you be arrested for killing a program??

Can you be more explicit in your request, Doctor? - Data.

Can you come back tomorrow? We're all out of insurance forms.

Can you describe the UFO, Picard? Yes, There...are.. four... lights!

Can you do the Picard Maneuver in a Hyundai?

Can you fill us in more on this, Lt. Data?

Can you get Modem Addictus from a CALL girl?

Can you give me the coordinates of their home world? - Ivanova

Can you help me to understand you? - Kosh to Sheridan

Can you hold off a vampire with a sun lamp?

Can you open your mind without it falling out?

Can you paint with all the colors of the wind? -- Pocahontas

Can you prove it didn't happen?

Can you remember core memory!

Can you remember when the air was clean and sex was dirty

Can you smell the deadly radiation coming out of the TV set?

Can you swim in melted dry ice without getting wet?

Can you tell me the location of the Nuclear Wessles? -- Chekov

Can you trust a government that won't obey it's own laws?

Can you yell "yIHmey!" in a crowded Klingon restaurant?

Can't I enjoy a little misery in peace? - Frank Burns

Can't see it? It IS there, using Stealth technology.

Can't wait for the 100Gb, 10ns drives! C++ is still not good enough

Can't wake up... accidentally reformatted my brain.

Can't we just be friends?

Cana-DOS: Yer sure, eh? (B)eauty! (N)o way! (T)ake off!

Canada: A pack of cigarettes- $8; a heart transplant- just $8.

Canadian: unarmed American with health care.

Cancer cures smoking.

Candy is dandy but liquor is quicker.

Cannibal Stewardess Vixens Unchained...

Cannibal Women in the Avocado Jungle of Death.

Cannibal: A person who is fed up with people.

Cannibalism Rule 10: Jogger's are considered FAST FOOD!

Cannibalism Rule: Listen to sermon, THEN eat missionary!

Cannibals aren't vegetarians, they're humanitarians.

Cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny.

Cannot open Windows, using Doors instead

Cap'n Crunch Dead. Cereal Killer Held. More at 11.

Cap'n! Cap'n! The UART's will'nae take the speed!

Cap'n, you canna break the laws of physics!

Capital Punishment Justification #1: Prevention of repeat crimes.

Capital Punishment: The Male-Only Death Penalty.

Capital Punishment: the income tax.

Capital as such is not evil; it is its wrong use that is evil. -Ghandi

Capital punishment: people in the capital need to be punished.

Capitalism is what people do if you leave them alone.

Capitalism: Man exploiting man. Socialism: The reverse.

Capitalist: Shit happens & it'll cost you.

Capitol Punishment? Yes, punish everyone in the capitol!

Capt'n... the modem cannot keep up this speed much longer!

Capt. log, s.d. 49999.9... That late? Red alert!

Captain #AL#, it's the Death Star! We mu*^%#&%$#NO CARRIER

Captain - What's that odor? Worf - Apologies, Sir!

Captain ... Renegade ship approc!@$(@#&$* NO CARRIER

Captain ... one .. harmless ... little ... Tribble?

Captain Data: Number 00000001, you have the bridge.

Captain Deering, it's the Death Star! We mu *^%#&%$# NO CARRIER

Captain I protest ... I am NOT a merry man! --Worf

Captain Janeway is stored in memory block 41 Alpha. - Computer

Captain Kirk has three ears: left, right and a final front ear!

Captain Kirk, meet my father. He's Dad, Jim. -- McCoy

Captain Picard! Mr. Spock just swallowed our budget!

Captain Smith, a Klingon does NOT play Tetris.

Captain on the bridge. (Translated: get off your butts.)

Captain one .. harmless little Tribble?

Captain your head! You're growing HAIR!!!

Captain! Admiral Brahms is on sub-space requesting you!!!

Captain! I am sensing something painfully obvious. - Troi

Captain! Moderator decloak~%$#NO CARRIER

Captain! Riker is snorting all the dilithium crystals. Wow!

Captain! The UARTs can't handle this speed much longer!

Captain!! I sense...I sense...I sense a commercial coming!

Captain!? Commander!? Can we talk? --Londo.

Captain's Log, stardate 28514.8...nothing interesting

Captain, Engines here. Scotty canna take much more of this!

Captain, I believe I have found the cause of the power surge. - Data

Captain, I believe your friend Stinky has arrived. --Ivanova.

Captain, I didn't know Human women were so fragile - Worf

Captain, I sense an imminent commercial break. -Troi

Captain, Why not just give The Borg Windows?

Captain, a Klingon does *NOT* play SimTribble!!!!!!

Captain, a Tetris does *NOT* play Klingon!!

Captain, communications is jammed...NO CARRIER

Captain, do you know how fast you were goin'? Warp 6 in a Warp 5 zone.

Captain, is something wrong with your chair?

Captain, our shields won't handle another attack.

Captain, sensor probe of SOL 3 reports no intelligent life.

Captain, the Borg left the Microsoft headquarters untouched.

Captain, the VGA is not responding. I'm switching to EGA.

Captain, the ship's been infected with the Windows virus!

Captain, the stars are gone!-Get off the Viewscreen controls, Chekov!

Captain, we are going to crash! - Damn the Stockmarket!!

Captain, we are receiving 285,000 hails -- Wesley

Captain, we have a Priority One tagline from Starfleet.

Captain, we have attained ridiculous speed. * Data

Captain, we're out of Earl Grey. Bridge, course 180!

Captain, we've dropped out of warp.

Captain. One. Harmless. Little. Tribble. - Cyrano Jones

Captain: "Damn the torpedoes!" Ensign: "Damn torpedoes..."

Captains log, Stardate 9602.34 Worf bites Ensign Fox

Captains log, Stardate 9623.17 Worf bites Ensign Smith

Car Capital Of The World --Mitch Egan

Car Phone answering maching: "Hi.. I'm home right now" -- S. Wright

Cardassians are a Bajor problem.

Cardinal Fang! Fetch... the comfy chair! - Monty Python

Care For A Chop? --Marsha Larts

Care to try cordless bungee jumping?

Careful Warner, you only have a few brain cells left.

Careful. I know Karate and a few other foreign words...

Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.

Caretaker of Borg: "I haven't the time to assimilate you!"

Carlson's Law: Don't try to eat where they don't want to feed you.

Carmel, California - a woman cannot take a bath in a business office.

Carmen Sandiego, pick up the nearest white courtesy phone, please.

Carnivore I am, cannibal I am not. :) -Digital Shakespeare

Carolyn's Law: A penny saved isn't a hell of a lot.

Cartoon: A device used by papers to say what an editor dare not.

Cash: a poor man's credit card!

Cat Physics #2: A cat will assume the shape of its container.

Cat Rule #2: Bite hand that won't feed you fast enough.

Cat ate cheese and waited by mousehole with baited breath

Cat bathing is a martial art.

Cat of Borg: I think I'll assimilate ... myself!

Cat-a-Lan a network of Cats-they're the Cats-Meoowww!

Cat: (n) An Unprogrammable Animal.

Cat: A dog with an attitude problem.

Catalan Opening: Starting a local area network for cats.

Catalan: Local area network for Cats.

Catapult: (n) Large device for propelling cats over long distances.

Catch 22 -=-=-=-=-=-=-=- Humans 0

Caterpiller: Place for cats to scratch.

Catholic (n.) A cat with a drinking problem.

Catholic Education: A Nun with a Whip.

Catholic girls, they never confess...

Cats are companions. Dogs are slaves.

Cats are domesticated until a paw-operated tin-opener is invented.

Cats are easier to train than kids, and easier to kill, too.

Cats are loyal to no one but the can opener.

Cats are not pets, they own the house and let you live there.

Cats are people too...no, I mean...

Cats are pretty cool - you can kill them nine times.

Cats are the soul of honesty, hide not their dislikes.

Cats can fall 9 stories and live? DING! 10th Floor, sir

Cats have the simplest of taste: the best is satisfactory

Cats like Windows - it seems to attract Mice.

Cats may have 9 lives, but I have 10 bullets.

CatwomanDOS: Batman found. (P)urr, (M)eow, (U)ncoil whip?

Cause of crash: Inadvertent contact with the ground.

Cause of fights forgotten. Bravery metals given to all.

Caution, Tribble Crossing: ******************************

Caution: High Pressure! Contents are bzip(1)ped!

Caution: Hungry Dieter -- May bite if provoked!!

Caution: Not to be taken internally.

Caution: The tagline you steal may be your own!

Caution: naughty bits follow 101001100011101

Caveat aleator: Beware the gambler.

Caveat emptor, no deposit no return, do not remove.

Caveat ereptor libertas: Beware the robber of freedom.

Ceci n'est pas une tagline

Cecil B. DeMilitarism: The making of Rambo movies.

Celebrate freedom -- read a banned book!

Celebrating the death of JFK 20 years ago. -- Larry King [11-22-93]

Cellular phone (n.) : See walkie-talkie.

Censor: Someone who knows more than he thinks you should.

Censorship in any form is unconst[CENSORED].

Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.

Centipede: An ant built to government specifications.

Centuries of tradition unimpeded by progress. The Marines.

Cereal Killer Strikes Again! Cap'n Crunch found dead...

Certifiably drain-bamaged ...

Certum est quia impossibile est.

Chain Tagline - Stolen 385 times - Add to # when stolen.

Chain of Command: What Picard pulls when he's finished in the bathroom

Chain tagline. Copy or bad luck will follow.

Chaining - Method of attaching programmers to desk to speed up output.

Chains chains, shackles and chains...

Chains required. Whips optional.

Chang: In space, all warriors are cold warriors.

Change is good but dollars are better.

Change is inevitable ... except from a university's Coca-Cola machine.

Change is never easy.

Change is the essential process of all existence. - Spock

Change your mind, or at least REPAIR it.

Changes in Latitudes, Changes in Attitudes.... -Jimmy B.

Chaos (n): mass confusion; disorder - see also American Government

Character is what you are in the dark.

Charity begins at home, and mostly ends where it begins.

Charity envieth not. - 1 Corinthians 13:4

Charlene, I said I was Sorry!.. Don't Delete^*%*&****NO CARRIER

Charlie Don't Surf.

Charlton Heston Starred In The 10 Commandments

Charm is a way of getting a "yes" without having asked a question.

Charmed, I'm sure. -- Quark

Charter Member of Couch Potatoes for Physical Fitness.

Chastity is curable, if detected early.

Chat mode is DISABLED during B5, ST[ONV], SG and MacGyver

Cheap Saudi apartments: Call "Low-Rents of Arabia"

Cheap, On time, Bug free; Pick two.

Cheating on His Wife --Izzy Backyet

Check out Fractionnal T1 service as an alternative to 56K.

Check you local software stores.

Check your altimeter! Pull a lever! Push a button!

Check your duplex switch, idiot !...%$#@& - NNOO CCAARRRRIIEERR

Checked was tagline this Grammatik by.

CheeBORGer, chips, Pepsi. Coke and fries are irrelevant.

Chef, n.: Any cook who swears in French.

Chekov on Klingons: Guess who's coming to dinner...

Chekov on V'ger's probe: Absolutely I will not interfere!

Chekov, fire! No, no, no, put down that extinguisher.

Chekov: Excuse me, we are looking for nuclear wessels...

Chekov: The Garden of Eden was just outside Moscow.

Cherchez la fable: Look for the fairy tale.

Chernobyl used Windows NT - next question?

Child Logic: Unbreakable toys are useful for breaking other toys.

Child abuse - Forcing children to attend Church.

Child asks sick Mom: "Did you get your virus from the computer?"

Child birth: Preparing you for the agony of being a parent.

Childbirth can't be painful if mere women can endure it.

Children are our future: Teach them well and love them honest.

Children are the most common form of sexually transmitted disease.

Children are treasures ... so bury them in the backyard.

Children don't sleep; they recharge!

Children left unattended will be sold as slaves.

Children under 5 free.... if eaten in dining room...

Chinese cookbook... 1001 ways to wok your dog!

Chip. Micro-Chip. Eighty Three Eighty-six.

Chips: What the crumbs on the keyboard used to be.

Chivalry ain't dead, it's just being sued for sexual harrassment.

Chocoholic Blood Type - M & M positive.

Chocolate is a serious thing. --Deanna.

Chocolate is serious business. --Deanna Troi.

Chocolate will be assimilated. Wrappers are futile.

Cholesterol: The stuff in food that makes it taste good.

Choose a job you love and you will never have to work again.

Choose the people you trust very carefully, but then trust them fully.

Choosey cats choose Logitech Mice 10:1 Over MicroSoft!

Christ died for our sins, so let's not disappoint him!

Christ from cross: Peter, I can see your house from here.

Christ was INTOLERANT! He asked people to go and sin no more!

Christ was crucified for preaching without a police permit.

Christ: A man who was born at least 5,000 years ahead of his time.

Christian Myth #1: Jesus was white

Christian Science Programming: "Let God Debug It!"

Christian Scientist - What is ****?

Christianity has made of death a terror. -- Ouida

Christianity: How the Borg got started.

Christianity: Judaism for Windows

Christianity: Three gods for the price of one.

Christianity: the Borg of religions.

Christians are God's ambassadors, not His policemen.

Christians can have only one wife. This is called monotony.

Christians will please refrain from biting lions!

Christina Applegate Fan Club -- Go Kelly Bundy!

Christmas Chopin time ...make a Liszt.

Cigarette? No thanks, I'm not into suicide.

Cigarettes: Money to burn.

Cinderella married for money.

Circumventiums - 586s which use software patches to fix FDIV bug.

City Baby Attacked by Rats.

Civilization - biggest syntax error in history!

Civilized people don't need a government. So we have one.

Classic Groceries: Chopin Liszt

Classified tagline. Please enter password: _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Claustrophobia: The fear of Santa Claus

Clean, hard working, dependable..AARGH! I've become a monster!

Cleared for taxi! I can't find the keys for this plane..

Clearly defining the areas of doubt and uncertainty.

Clinton - FIRST Commander-in-Chief who never served.

Clinton - The Bill of Wrongs.

Clinton Health Plan: Failure to remain healthy is punishable by death.

Clinton Healthcare Plan, Page 12,750: We are all going to die.

Clinton Math: $20,000 = RICH.

Clinton Math: $250,000 = MILLIONAIRE

Clinton Math: $290b deficit - $500b reduction = $340b deficit

Clinton Math: Don't worry about counting it. We'll take it all from you.

Clinton Tax Form: 1) Amount earned $_______. 2) Send it in.

Clinton Virus - Causes Windoze to actually work as intended

Clinton at a war memorial is like Saddam joining Amnesty Int'l.

Clinton didn't inhale; Madonna's a virgin.

Clinton had a reality check. It bounced.

Clinton has LOTS of fans...they help diffuse the odor.

Clinton is to Reagan what a ZX80 is to a Cray.

Clinton isn't doing his job - I still have a few dollars left!

Clinton logic: $30,000 a year!? Wow - I'm a MILLIONAIRE!

Clinton of Borg: "Inhaling is irrelevant."

Clinton of Borg: "Prepare to be... say, that's a tight skirt, baby."

Clinton of Borg: I feel your pain and it is irrelevant.

Clinton of Borg: Truth is Irrelevant.

Clinton of OZ: "Ignore the man behind the (voting) curtain."

Clinton on Vietnam: Hell No! to Canada we go.

Clinton plays sax with an Al Gore rhythm.

Clinton promises to spread the pain.

Clinton surrounds himself with incompetence so he won't look as bad.

Clinton tells the truth. CLINTON.TXT 0 bytes

Clinton wants to streamline government. No, I'm serious. Stop laughing!

Clinton wins drug war! Nobody has money left to buy them.

Clinton's America: Criminals vs Unarmed Citizens.

Clinton's White House, New Home of the Whopper!

Clinton's not a crook; he's "ethically challenged."

Clinton's worst nightmare? The truth!!

Clinton/Gore - Error #12, Timeout error: 100 days of inactivity.

Clinton/Gore - Error: Division By Zero

Clinton: The Bill of Wrongs.

Clinton: The Energizer President. He keeps lying and lying and lying and

Clintonomics: Reaganonomics in reverse.

Clintstones, meet the Clintstones...

Clipper Chip: The Lorena Bobbit of the Information Superhighway.

Cloaked tribble:

Clocks go entirely too slow at work!

Clones are people two!

Close your eyes and press ESC three times.

Closed eyes are not always sleeping.

Closing hailing frequencies,

Clothes don't necessarily make the man, but a suit makes a lawyer.

Club Med, Jim! - McCoy suggesting a vacation for Captain Kirk

Clueless male: "PMS? Isn't that a time zone?"

Coalition Forces: fighting for YOUR right to dissent!

Coast Guard: for men too chicken to join the navy - Crow T. Robot

Cocaine is God's way of saying you make too much money.

Cockroach Slain, Husband Badly Hurt - film at 11

Coed sues her parents for sending her to college

Coffee Deleted - Operator Lost

Coffee Loaded -- Operator Resumes

Coffee Not Found - Operator Halted!

Coffee Warmer: Place cup on Pentium, calculate Pi, get wrong answer.

Coffee fact: the Japanese bathe in it for it's health giving qualities.

Coffee flavored cigarettes...kill yourself twice as fast.

Coffee makes the world go round, love only populates it!

Coffee not found. (A)bort, (R)etry, (S)nooze?

Cogito Ergo Boom == Smart Bomb!!!

Cogito Ergo Hormel: I think therefore I Spam.

Cogito ergo Deus non est.

Cohabitation is a crime punishable by marriage.

Cohodas' Law: If it looks too good to be true, it is.

Coincidence Often Isn'T.

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous.

Cold is God's way of telling us to burn more Christians

Cold is the viper, stalking the night for the heat it must find.

Cold pizza: The perfect breakfast.

Colder than a dead eskimo's ass.

Colin Powell was supposed to log-on in '96, but he never even got a dial tone.

Collaborators. Not even the Ferengi would do that. -- Odo

Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery.

College is just high school with ash trays.

College professors talk in other people's sleep.

College: $100 for a book, $300 to prove you read it.

College: A bar with a $25000 cover charge.

College: Where football is taught.....

Colonel North, may we borrow your shredder? -- Hillary Clinton

Colonel Powell, a little overqualified to work here.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously -- Noam Chomsky

Colors fade, temples crumble, empires fall, but wise words endure.

Colors may, in time, fade.

Colors of the American flag: [255, 0, 0], [255, 255, 255] and [0, 0, 255].

Colt 45: The original point-and-click interface.

Columbus: borrowed money, Got Lost, Lost ships, and is a Hero?

Come get you kicks, with Borg 6 of 6.

Come get your kicks, on Route 66

Come not between a Nazgul and his prey or I'll huff and I'll puff :-)

Come now, Doctor, we're all consenting adults. - Picard.

Come on baby light my fire....--The Doors.

Come on, one night at the theater won't kill you. -Mary Todd Lincoln

Come on, you pansy! -- The Black Knight

Come on. We didn't eat for 2 days. I'm hungry -- Geordi

Come one, come all! Sue MicroSoft Anonymously! Limited time only!

Come, for all the world lies hushed and fallen--Jim Morrison

Come. --Kosh.

Coment peut-on avoir confiance en des gens du Parle Ment.

Comics: Not just for kids anymore because they can't afford 'em!

Coming SOON: Spaceballs II, The Quest for More Money.

Coming Soon on MTV: Death metal unplugged

Coming Soon: Al Bundy and his Deadly Ninja Dirty Socks of Death

Coming Soon: Microsoft EDLIN for Windows.

Coming Soon: Mouse Support for Edlin!

Coming at ya with the force of 10 billion butterfly sneezes!

Coming for Christmas... The Chia-Borg... Offer void where irrelevant.

Coming soon 2 a BBS near you:"Night Of The Living Thread"

Coming soon from Dr Soong: Mouse support for Data!!

Coming soon from Paramount - Star Trek: Deep Space 90210

Coming soon to a universe near you!

Coming soon to cable TV...The Tagline Channel.

Coming soon! City Slickers 3: Beating a Dead Horse.

Coming soon! Rick Borganis starring in: Honey, I Assimilated the Kids.

Coming soon, a sequel to Lemmings: Windows Users!

Coming soon: New Commercials!

Coming soon: New Taglines!

Coming soon: The Last Temptation of Schwarzenegger!

Command Not Understood. . . Now erasing Hard Drive

Command interpreter missing. Insert system disk in C:

Command.com not found, promote LtCmdr.com (Y/N)?

Commander Data offers up prayers of thanks to Asimov before dreaming.

Commander Riker will now conduct a MANUAL docking. - Picard

Commander, can this be another me? - Data

Commander, how could you even think such a thought? - Sheridan

Commander, there's a problem. --Ivanova.

Commander, you'd better take a look at this. --Ivanova.

Comment, Mr Spock? - We're in big trouble, Captain.

Commercialism is destroying the economy! Send $29.95 for more info.

Comming soon to a mail box near you!!

Commit suicide. A hundred thousand lemmings can't be wrong.

Committee (n): Life form with 6 or more legs and no brain

Committee - a group that keeps minutes and wastes hours

Committee to decrease the Schwarzschild Radius.

Commodore 64 Tribble: Load"*",8

Common malady: Diarrhea of mouth + constipation of brain

Common sense is not so common. - Voltaire

Common sense is what tells you that the world is flat.

Common sense isn't...

Compassion is no substitute for justice.

Complexity of a Mac user:- The number of buttons on the mouse

Compuserve: $12.80/hr, $307/dy, $2150/wk, $111,820/yr...

Computer (com-pyoo-ter) n.-Incredibly fast idiot!

Computer (n.): A device designed to speed up and automate errors.

Computer - blondes and jazz seldom go together. - Riker

Computer ... you and I need to have a little talk.

Computer 10, Housework 2.

Computer Hacker Wanted. Must have own axe.

Computer Hacker: Have axe. Will travel.

Computer Lie #1: You'll never use all that disk space.

Computer Make Very Fast, Very Accurate Mistakes..

Computer Memories --Meg Abight

Computer Memories: Meg Abight(7)

Computer Rule #1: That missing screw is on the Motherboard..somewhere!

Computer Science -- solving today's problems tomorrow.

Computer Science is merely the post-Turing decline in formal systems theory.

Computer Science is to Science as Accounting is to Counting

Computer Science? Army Intelligence?

Computer Self Destruct in 2 mins...press any key to continue...

Computer User Group - Nerd Heard

Computer air conditioner in use! Please close Windows.

Computer bought the farm. --Error Message in The Hurd

Computer bought the farm. --The Hurd's EIEIO Error Message

Computer dating: I just met this lovely 486 with 36Meg RAM & a 2Gig HD!

Computer does what you tell it -vs- Woman often asks "why" or says "no"

Computer literacy? You mean my computer's supposed to READ?

Computer missing, notify SysOp!

Computer not found (A)bort (R)etry (C)all the Cops

Computer not responding to boot? Try flattery instead.

Computer programmers don't byte, they nybble a bit.

Computer virus? No, just a stuffed up node.

Computer! Level two. -- Worf

Computer! End Clinton administration holodeck program.

Computer, Run HoloDeck Simulation "Picard 1 : Dr. Crusher in shower"

Computer, Tea, Earl Gray, Hot, in a Cup this time.

Computer, coffee, hot. In a cup this time! --Janeway

Computer, end holodeck BBS program!

Computer, end program. -- Barclay

Computer, execute my original command. - Troi

Computer, increase temperature by five degrees. - Troi

Computer, microwave decks 5-10 until piping hot. BEEP!

Computer, open this hatch or I'll take an axe to your memory banks.

Computer, remove platform! - Riker

Computer, run Barclay Program 9 with Crusher and Troi.

Computer, run Holodeck program "Shower-2A" with Beverly and Deanna.

Computer, set "[Neelix = /dev/null]". -Tuvok

Computer, shut this bloody thing off! -- Scotty

Computer, some girlie mags and a box of tissues. -- Wesley

Computer, state the nature of the universe.

Computer, this is me! Whadaya mean unrecognized operator?

Computer, turn off holographic email program and save.

Computer, you and I need to have a little talk! -- Chief O'Brien DS9

Computer. Initiate transport sequence delta on my mark. Mark. :)

Computer... Smoke... Uhh Ohh

Computer: "Not found `Tea,_Earl_Grey,_Hot.'"

Computer: Device designed to drive human beings insane.

Computer: Everything Murphy wanted and more.

Computer: How do you feel? [*] Spock: I do not understand the question.

Computers Make Very Fast, Very Precise Mistakes...

Computers all wait at the same speed.

Computers and women both hate men.

Computers are NOT intelligent! They only think they are.

Computers are irrelevant- Windows has been assimilated ..Yuck !@#@!BORG BLOCKED

Computers are too precise for human use.

Computers are useless, they only give answers. -- Pablo Picasso

Computers do it in ASCII, except IBM's which use EBCDIC.

Computers don't drink: it's against their bar code.

Computers get cheaper every year; women get more expensive.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes, except Pentiums

Computers must run on smoke; they stop when it leaks out.

Computers never crash, though they occasionally explode for no reason.

Computers run on smoke. They stop when it leaks out.

Computers should be like air conditioned building, don't open Windows.

Computers were invented by Murphy.

Computers will become self-aware entities if struck by lightning.

Con: the opposite of pro. Congress: the opposite of progress.

Conan the Librarian....."Yo book iz ovadue!"

Conan! Watch out for the quick sand! @$T$@] NO WARRIOR

Conceptual programmer: One who writes code for the 80686.

Concerning Chinese tobacco: Many men smoke, but Fu Manchu.

Conclusion: the place where you got tired of thinking.

Concrete engine

Condom - external storage capability.

Condominium: An apartment complex for small men.

Condoms are gene pool lifeguards

Configuration is irrelevant. --Borg Sysop.

Confirm me if I'm wrong!

Conformity constipates creativity!

Confucious Say: A bird in hand makes hard to blow nose.

Confucious Say: Boiling water is very hot!

Confucious say nothing - Because he's dead!

Confucious say too damn much!

Confucious say: I didn't say that!

Confucius Say; It is Ok for shit to happen. Shit will decompose.

Confucius Say; Man who drive like hell bound to get there!

Confucius say too much. -- Recent Chinese proverb

Confucius say, "Don't judge book by cover, but by how thick it is "

Confucius say, man who read woman like book, prefer braille!

Confucius say..."User who lose [CTRL] not [ESC] reality."

Confucius say..."User who order from computer menu starve to death."

Confucius say..."User who start process have children."

Confucius say..."User who think in background have unconscious thought."

Confucius say..."User with [NumLock] have no math background."

Confucius say..."We have met the enemy and he is Microsoft."

Confucius say....Ring on her finger = Ring in your nose

Confucius say...man who live in glass house shower in basement.

Confucius say: A Watched Tandy Never Boots!

Confucius say: A girl's best asset is her 'lie'ability.

Confucius say: America Good Place to Put Chinese Restaurant.

Confucius say: Man in clean shirt no fix laser printers.

Confuse a computer: 0101 0001 0110 0100 0100 1101 0102... 2???!?!?!?!

Confused: A blonde between two brunettes.

Confused? Call Councellor Troi: 1-900-NCC-1701 $1.95/min

Confused? Call Michelle, she will understand what you are saying.

Confusion can be solved by adding more confusion. Sometimes.

Confusion: Donald Duck speaking Klingonese.

Confusion: Looking up Enterprise componentry in the Dictionary

Congratulations Data, it's a girl. [Troi - The Offspring]

Congratulations. - Q to Picard

Congress and crooks both want the population unarmed. Coincidence?

Congress is like a cactus except the pricks are inside.

Congress is the only inherent criminal class in America. - Mark Twain

Congress' idea of "safe" sex: no reporters.

Congress: Proof that crime DOES pay!

Conjecture: 1+1=1 (plus a small constant)

Conn, sonar. We have a torpedo contact approach... #$!%$@% NO CARRIER

Connect: 9600 City / 14400 Highway - Your CPS may vary

Conquest is easy. Control is not. - James Tiberius Kirk

Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends. -- H. L. Mencken

Conservatism is the worship of dead revolutions.

Conservative idea #7: Breaking laws to support dictators is ok.

Conserve Electricity - Support Lethal Injections

Conserve air: breath less

Conserve electrons...Send short email messages.

Conserve energy, don't think.

Conserve gravity!

Consider it a warning, Quark -- Odo

Consider it considered!

Consider yourself hugged.

Conspiracy theories are all secret government plots to confuse us.

Conspiracy theory: Humpty Dumpty was pushed.

Constants aren't; variables don't.

Constitution of the United States: died November 17, 1993; R.I.P.

Construct a grammatically correct death sentence.

Consult the manual? Naaaaah, that's too easy.

Consultant: Worker laid off, and hired back at twice the salary.

Contains no user-serviceable parts.

Continuum Family Portrait: QqqQ QqQqq QqQ Qqqq Q Qq Q

Controlling complexity is the essence of computer programming. - Kernigan

Convert your 386 or 486 into an XT... run Microsoft Windows!

Convert your 486 machine into an 8088 -- install Windows!

Convict... The result of choosing a poor lawyer

Cooking Instructions: Preheat Microwave to 450 degrees

Cooking Rule: if at first you don't succeed, order pizza.

Cool Hand Luke of Borg: What we got here is *FAILURE* to assimilate.

Cool your coffee by holding it closer to your heart.

Cool... I broke his brain. --Bart.

Copy a:\trek\*.* c:\reality.sys

Copy from another: plagiarism. Copy from many: research.

Copy protection: Just say no...

CopyLeft

Copycat: n. Any programmer at Microsoft.

Copyright (C) 1994 Tagline - All rights stolen.

Copyright 1767, Sir Isaac Newton.

Copyright the Intergalactic Thought Association

Copyrighted tribble: (*)

Cornflakes, it's not just for breakfast anymore!

Corporal punishment is boy punishment.

Corporal, get me the tape of Spaceballs, The Movie.

Corporations don't care about people as much as money.

Cortical Implant Driver not found: install keyboard? [Y/n]

Cosmetics: Women's way of keeping men from reading between the lines.

Costrophobia: The fear of high prices.

Could Earth be some other planet's HELL?

Could I borrow a cup of sugar and a few megs of RAM?

Could a million Shakespeares write like a monkey?

Could you find me some rocks to throw at them * Riker

Could you hold off a vampire with a sunlamp?

Could you please be a bit less specific?

Could you scratch my back with your voice? - Mike

Counselor's log StarDate 45623.6. My mother is on board.

Count Dracula - your Bloody Mary is ready...

Count Tribbula: ^*^

Counter-Intelligence is a game for thinkers.

Country hit: "I Put Her In My Root Directory, But She Partitioned."

Courier: A perfect modem for an imperfect world.

Courtesy is the lubricant of social interaction. -- Heinlein

Courts are where justice is dispensed with. -- Mark Twain

Cowards take hostages, Klingons do not.--Worf

Cows are made from mooving parts.

Crane's Law: There ain't no such thing as a free lunch.

Crapple...an Apple computer that craps out.

Crash (v) - Normal termination of a MicroSoft program...

Cray - PC with an attitude

Cray XM/P: No doze for your Windoze...

Cray YM/P: Calculating PI up to it's last digit in just 2 seconds.

Crayfish: a lobster that couldn't SHELL to C:

Crayons can take you to more places than starships. -- Guinan

Crazy: Affected with a high degree of intellectual independence.

Create your own opportunity. Blackmail a senior executive.

Created with the No. 1 Rated HTML editor - "vi"

Creation science: Shoot an arrow, then paint a target around it.

Creative minds are seldom tidy.

Creativity - Not referencing your sources.

Credit card owner -- Member of the debt set

Creditors have better memories than debtors.

Credo, quia absurdum est. I believe, because it is absurd

Crime does not pay... as well as politics. -- A. E. Newman

Crime doesn't pay....taxes.

Crime doesn't pay? Does that mean my job is a crime?

Crime must pay, or politicians wouldn't seek re-election.

Crime wouldn't pay if the Government ran it.

Crimes perpetrated by a multitude remain unavenged. - Lucan

Criminal Lawyer: a redundancy

Criminal: one who gets caught.

Criminals love gun control, it makes their job much easier.

Crippleware. Windows NT: The network server that doesn't Windows

Critics are little old ladies of both sexes.

Croatia is free, said Tom acerbically.

CrocoBorg Dundee: G'day mate! Assimilate another shrimp on the barbie!

Crocodile Dundee --Ali Gator

Crocodile Dundee: Ali Gator

Cross a lawyer with a blonde? There are things even a blonde won't do.

Cross a tagline and a tribble? You get a full HD...

Cross an Aussie with a Satanist, get a Tasmanian Devil Worshipper

Cross between a Vulcan and a Tribble? Fuzzy logic.

Cross between the Borg and Dr. McCoy - "He's irrelevant, Jim."

Cross your feet. We only have three nails.

Crossroads, a place where ghosts reside --Jim Morrison

Cruisin' the Net, 300 bps, wearin' a hat.

Crusher gets more shrill with each passing year. -Q to Picard

Crusher: Worf, you seen Wesley? Worf: No, I haven't. BURP!

Crusoe got everything done by Friday. Can you?

Cry "Assimilate," and let loose the cubes of Borg!

Cry Wolf: Al Armist

Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war! --Shakespeare.

Cthulhu Calls -- using MCI

Cthulhu Saves... the bones, that is.

Cult: A religion without political power.

Culture is what your butcher would have if he were a surgeon.

Cure for the Unemployment Problem: Get a Job!

Curiosity might have killed Schr*dinger's cat.

Current Bald rate is 15 hairs Per Second

Current Protocol: None Selected

Current bogon-detector reading: [ ...../. ]

Current death rate? One per person, of course.

Cursing people is morally unsound and extremely bad for your karma.

Cursor (n): what you become when your computer crashes.

Cursor Blink Rate = REM.

Curve: the loveliest distance between two points. - Mae West

Curzon's dead. I'm Jadzia Dax now.

Cut down a tree with a herring? -- King Arthur

Cut here and pretend that you're responsible for this, ok???

Cut life support to Wesley Crusher's quarters. -- Picard

Cut your own wood and it will warm you twice.

Cute rots the intellect. - Garfield

CyberATM ... NO CA$H...#$@&%#...NO CARRY !

CyberCallWaiting...Electrons in a state of flux.

CyberScream: "Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeemail"

CyberYouBetYourLife..."Type-in the secret Password. Collect 100 Mb"

Cyberettes...CheerLeaders of the Net.

Cyberia.../dev/null

Cybersaurus...ENIAC, 1946 (Electronic Numerical Integrator And Computer)

Cyberspace -- virtually the final frontier.

Cyclic Redundancy Check: Two locks on the same bicycle.

CyderSpace...the Net, for Apple users.

Cylons are Borg rejects.

Cynic: Someone who smells the flowers and looks for the casket.

char *p="char *p=%c%s%c;main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}";main(){printf(p,34,p,34);}

check the whiskers, whats going on out there?

copyleft is the right way to go.