This is a collection of taglines (one-liners), selected from the huge database at www.taglinesgalore.com.

TV Truth: "Real Men" can punch a hole in a car window.

TV Truth: A 9mm pistol is a more powerful weapon than an AK-47.

TV Truth: Aliens are always immune to bullets.

TV Truth: All Asians know karate.

TV Truth: All Brits are classy and all Frenchmen are jerks.

TV Truth: All alien races look like deformed humans.

TV Truth: All cars will explode when wrecked.

TV Truth: All husbands are less intelligent than their wives.

TV Truth: All husbands are wife-beaters.

TV Truth: Cartoon characters don't die.

TV Truth: Explosions in space make noise.

TV Truth: Getting shot is a minor annoyance if you're a good guy.

TV Truth: Global corporations set up their HQ in small towns.

TV Truth: Good guys can get 200 shots out of a six-shooter.

TV Truth: High School students look thirty years old.

TV Truth: If a woman is running, she will trip and fall.

TV Truth: If women have breasts, they're hookers.

TV Truth: Martial artists never get killed by bullets.

TV Truth: No one has trouble finding parking spots in a hurry.

TV Truth: Only thin beautiful woman ever need to be rescued.

TV Truth: Teenagers can access any computer using their PC's.

Tact: Describing others as they see themselves.

Tagline censored by Iraqi government.

Taglines created with the nation's finest available ASCII text.

Take 20 asprins and you'll feel better, if you wake up.

Take defeat like a man, blame it on your wife!

Take me with a grain of salt, but add some thyme and coriander.

Take my Visa, take my husband, but don't touch my modem.

Take that back! It tastes like the stuff my wife makes.

Take the antiderivative of (tan 3x^2)/5x...

Take the greatest risk: let yourself be just the way you are.

Take time to smell the roses and eventually you'll inhale a bee.

Take us to your leader, the one you humans call Curly.

Take your wife's first advice, not her second.

Taken a Turing test lately?

Takes many nails to build a crib, but just one screw to fill it!!!

Taking criticism is a prerequisite to success.

Talk in your sleep, eh? Don't sleep next to a replicator. Too messy.

Talk is cheap, and time's expensive.

Talk is cheap, but rarely free.

Talkers are no good doers. --William Shakespeare, "Henry VI"

Talking right is not politically correct.

Tamarian mugger: "Timba, his arms up, NOW, suckah!"

Tamarian pornography: "Madonna, behind the green door."

Tammy is busier than a one-eyed cat watching two mouse holes.

Tampons $1 a dozen! No strings attatched!

Tasha Burger: It'll come up again later after it's gone.

Tasha Yar works in a Data entry position.

Tasha Yar's busy in her quarters receiving Data.

Tasha Yar's least favorite phrase? "Insufficient Data".

Tasha Yar: one who knows the real meaning of receiving Data.

Tasha and Data, when the bulkheads shook...

Tasmanians, who never committed adultery, are now extinct.

Taught him everything I know, and still he knows nothing.

Tax News: People who made no money last year will get 10% back!

Tax rich bachelors heavily. Why should they be so happy?

Tax the Federal Reserve to pay off the Federal Debt!

Tax the poor and the ugly! Everyone should sacrifice!

Tax the rich, feed the poor, till there's no rich no more.

Taxation is little more than legalized extortion.

Taxes are a form of Capitol punishment.

Taxes are not levied for the benefit of the taxed.

Taxes? We don't need no stinking taxes.

Tea, Earl Grey, Hot. --Picard. Ale, Romulan, Lots. --Kirk.

Tea, Earl Grey, Hot... OW!!! Not THAT hot!! --Picard.

Teach a Kid to Fish and Get them `Hooked' for life.

Teacher (according to a child): A non-violent mother.

Teacher said it was dain bramage...

Teachers who ask for blind obedience get dumb students.

Tear drops on my pillow.

Tear drops on my window.

Tech Support is Just A Busy Signal Away...

Teen Lesbian Nazi Hookers Raped by UFO Aliens... --Next on Geraldo.

Teenager declared insane after voluntarily cleaning room.

Teenagers are alike in so many disrespects.

Teenagers who have sex are destined to die in grotesque ways.

Telecom Rule #1: Wherever possible, put people on hold.

Telecom: Collect call from the Gamma Quadrant. Will YOU accept charges?

Telepath needed. You know where to apply!

Telephone charges are cheaper the farther you call, go figure...

Telephone poles only hit cars in self defense.

Telephone... Telegraph... Tell-a-queen...

Television is democracy at its ugliest.

Television is so dull that children are doing their homework.

Television shows: those little interludes between the commercials.

Telix changed my life. I used it to download Telemate!

Tell Dark Helmet that he must take the princess alive!

Tell Godot I couldn't wait.

Tell Me Lies... Tell Me Sweet Little Lies...

Tell a woman from the music she listens to when alone.

Tell me? Why was Lennier walking through the Zoccalo asking for tampons?

Temba, with his pants down. --Picard.

Temper, temper, mon capitaine. --Q.

Tempest: (T)ransient (EMP) (EST)imates.

Tempest: (TEM)-Wave (P)ropagation in (E)-Field (S)ite (T)esting.

Temporal distortion located around workplace clock.

Temporary things tend to become permanent.

Ten years after the Earth/Minbari war...

Tender, teasing feathers on inner thighs...

Terminal Illness: Getting sick at the airport.

Terminator 3: Klingon female with PMS.

Terminator Spaghetti: pasta la vista, baby.

Terminator virus found. Hiding in file ILLBE.BAK

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "...and after I patched the microcode..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "Go get your backup tape."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "Hey! The suns don't do this."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "Hmm, maybe if I do this..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "I don't know if this is ethical, but..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "It shouldn't be doing that..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "Ooops. Save your work, everyone. FAST!"

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "System coming down in 0 min..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "Uh-oh..."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "What'd you say your (l)user name was...?"

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "You _do_ have a backup tape?"

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "You can do this patch with the system up."

Terrifying sysadmin comment: "dd if=/dev/null of=/vmunix"

Thank God And Greyhound She's Gone...

Thank God Microsoft doesn't design medical equipment.

Thank heaven for little girls, they grow up in such delightful ways.

Thank heaven for little girls. We know who to thank for boys.

Thank you for calling 911... To report a fire, press 1; to report...

Thank you for holding your breath while I smoke.

Thank you very little.

Thanks a meg!

Thanks for Visiting. Now Go Home. --Florida State Motto

Thanks for calling 911. Our office hours are from...

Thanks for calling and not Reversing the charges. --Skroob

Thanks for not breathing while I'm smoking!

That bird in the hand makes for a messy grip.

That blonde has a Teflon brain: Nothing sticks to it.

That boy's so horny even the crack of Dawn ain't safe!

That burned down, fell over, THEN sank into the swamp.

That can't be pornography! I don't even own a pornograph!

That decision is not yours to make, Cadet! --Picard

That does it. I'm introducing you to my hedgehog. --Troi

That girl's gonna be the death of me.

That government is best which governs least.

That is not a Borg identification, you are now 3 of 32 billion.

That keyboard may have a lack of intelligence at the other end.

That makes marriage the leading cause of divorce!

That says it all.

That was a pointing device? My cat thought it was dinner.

That was definitely the LAST bug, take my word for it.

That was my virgin alarm. Its programed to go off before you do! --Spaceballs.

That which can be imagined can also actually be reality.

That which cannot be taken apart will fall apart.

That which does not kill me, only makes me stronger. --Nietzsche.

That which does not kill me... probably missed!

That which is most common is most often the most obscure!

That's MISTRESS Uhura, slave kirk. YOU open the hailing frequencies!

That's a great answer. Now what was my question again?

That's a leap into the stupidity abyss that I won't be making.

That's all Folks!

That's all we needed... a Druish princess! --Spaceballs.

That's enough, Data! --Picard.

That's fine in practice, but it'll never work in theory.

That's my Industrial Strength Hairdryer and I can't live without it! --SB.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

That's not a bug, that's a feature!

That's the deal. Take it or leave it.

That's the problem with the gene pool: No lifeguard.

That's very pig-hearted of you.

That's why they put the eye in FBI. --Fox Mulder.

Thats just my two cents (wouldnt buy anything these days anyway).

The "He's dead, Jim!" taglines are dead, Jim!

The "Window of Opportunity" is next to the "Trapdoor of Disaster."

The 10 Commandments: The taglines Moses stole from God.

The 2nd Amendment: Just in case the government forgets the 1st!

The 3 stages of marriage: lust, rust and dust.

The 80986 will complete instructions before it gets them!

The Angels Rejoice When Forgiveness Prevails...

The Annoyance Detection Squad is WATCHING YOU!

The Apathetics Convention has been cancelled due to disinterest.

The BBC would like to apologize for that last apology. --Monty Python.

The Bagginses steals our taglineses, my preciousss...

The Ballad of John and Lorena Bobbitt.

The Bard's Curse: "I'll make you immortal!"

The Bermuda Triangle swallows seamen.

The Big Bang was only the universe rebooting.

The Biggest Pile Of Useless Information This World Has Seen...

The Bill of Rights... void where prohibited by law.

The Bobbitts: On the 'cutting edge' of society.

The Book of Armaments, Chapter Two, verses 8 to 11... --The Holy Grail.

The Borg are not square, they're cubed!

The Captain said "Energize!" and this little pink bunny appeared...

The Castle Ahrgggh. Our quest is at an end. --The Holy Grail.

The Cat lets me live here.

The Chainsaw Luke, use the Chainsaw.

The Church must learn humility, as well as teach it. --G.B. Shaw.

The Cleaning Lady has to do Windows, I don't.

The Computer is our friend. Hail the Computer!

The Congressman's Credo: To boldly tax what no man has taxed before.

The Course of Progress: Most things get steadily worse.

The Czech's in the mail. Sending Frenchman by FAX.

The Dan Quayle virus causes mysterious spelling errors to appear.

The Demon In Your Mind Will Rape You In Your Bed At Night.

The Devil already has all the lawyers for himself.

The Dinosaurs kept all their eggs on one planet...

The Easter Bunny is dead. Eaten by Santa on Thanksgiving.

The Egyptians built the pyramids in the shape of a huge triangular cube.

The Electric Chair Choice: Regular or Extra Crispy?

The Eleventh Commandment: Don't get caught!

The Emperor does not share your optimistic appraisal of the situation. --Vader.

The Emperor is not as forgiving as I am. --Vader.

The Enterprise's secondary Sensory Array: Counselor Troi.

The First Church of Binary Science. (The Digitarians)

The First Commandment was when Eve told Adam to eat the apple.

The First Rule of Program Optimization: Don't do it.

The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves.

The Fourth Law of Computing: On a slow day, you can wait forever.

The Future is but Past forgotten.

The Goddess Loves You! Just don't push it till she's had her coffee!

The Goddess created cats so that men could learn to understand women.

The Gold Pressed Latinum Card. Don't leave orbit without it.

The Golden Rule: The one with the most gold makes the rules.

The Greatest Right is the Right "To Fail."

The Greatest labor saving device of all time: Money!

The Guide is definitive. Reality is frequently inaccurate.

The Hedgehog's Guide to the Galaxy.

The I.R.S. must like poor people, it makes a lot of them.

The Icarus Class Starship had problems when it flew too near the sun.

The Klingon that can be Romulan is not the true Klingon.

The Law is your friend... but watch out for the Lawyers.

The Law of Unintended Consequences carries it own penalties...

The Light at the End of the Tunnel could be a flame thrower.

The Lord _Used_ To Work In Mysterious Ways, Now He Works In Subspace.

The Meek Shall Inherit the Earth... We're heading for the stars!

The More You Suffer, The More It Shows You Really Care...

The Murphy Philosophy: Smile, tomorrow will be worse.

The One with The Answer is seldom asked The Question...

The Operating System is mightier than the User.

The Pentagon calls peace "permanent pre-hostility."

The Road goes ever on and on... --Tolkien.

The Road to Hell is paved with good intentions.

The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!): Don't do it yet.

The Spice must flow... --Frank Herbert, "Dune."

The Third Law of War: Never, _ever_ attack the United States.

The Time is Always Right to do What is Right. --Martin Luther King, Jr.

The Truth shall set you free! But first it shall piss you off..

The Ultimate Answer is: 41.99 (on a pentium).

The Universe was dark and void. Then God removed the lens cap.

The Universe was dictated but never signed.

The War on Poverty is over. Poverty won.

The World is coming to an End. Please log off properly.

The above opinion is worth 2 cents.

The absence of Love is one of its greatest punishments.

The absent are always WRONG!

The absent are never without fault. Nor the present without excuse.

The absolute definite best way to catch a fish: have somebody throw it to you.

The aces are crawling up and down your sleeve...

The actions of men are the best interpreters of their thoughts. --Locke.

The amount of common sense is fixed, but the population keeps going up.

The answer is definitely MAYBE, and that's final!

The attacker must vanquish; the defender need only survive.

The attention span of a computer is only as long as its power cord.

The authentication code is: The dog barks at midnight.

The average American has one testicle.

The average man doesn't vote for anything but against something.

The average person thinks he isn't.

The bad news is that the good news was wrong.

The beatings will continue until morale improves!

The beauty of a pun is in the argh of the beholder.

The beer is warm, the women are cold and I'm hot under the collar. --Groucho.

The best bridge between hope and despair is often a good night's sleep.

The best defense is a good offense.

The best draftees are married men, they take orders.

The best knife is the unseen one.

The best man for the job is usually a woman.

The best proof of love is trust.

The best things in life... belong to someone else.

The best way out of difficulty is through it.

The best way to accelerate Windows is at -9.8 m/s^2.

The best way to convince a fool he's wrong is to let him have his way.

The best way to forget your own problems is to help someone solve his.

The best way to have a good idea is to have a lot of ideas.

The best way to keep friends is not to give them away.

The best way to lose freedom is not to do anything.

The best way to make children good is to make them happy.

The best way to prepare for the future is to take care of the present.

The best way to protect your rights is to keep using them.

The best way to save face is to keep the lower part shut.

The best way to stay outta the Army is to join the Navy.

The best way to win an argument is to be right.

The better a woman looks, the longer a man does.

The bigger a woman's breasts, the smaller the man's brain.

The bigger the amount you steal, the lighter your sentence when caught.

The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife. --48th Rule of Acquisition.

The biggest difference between time and space is that you can't reuse time.

The biggest oxymoron in the world: The Senate Ethics Committee.

The blood of the soldier makes the glory of the general.

The blue of heaven is larger than the darkness of the clouds.

The bluebird of happiness is being pecked by the chicken of depression.

The blues ain't nothin' but a good man feelin' bad.

The bogosity meter just pegged.

The boss said "Leave an emergency # while on vacation." I wrote "911"

The brain you have reached is not in service at this time

The bridge is crossed, so stand and watch it burn.

The bugs will go away when you turn off the computer!

The bulge in a man's pants that all women hunger for... his wallet.

The bureaucracy expands to meet the needs of an expanding bureaucracy.

The bus is always late, unless you are.

The buttered side of the toast always lands on the carpet.

The cat is mighty dignified until the dog comes by.

The cause of problems are solutions!

The chief cause of divorce is matrimony.

The child had every toy his father wanted.

The circle is now complete... now on to the triangle theorems.

The city put the country back in me.

The clash of ideas is the sound of freedom.

The cockroaches are revolting.

The color of truth is grey.

The combination is, 1,2,3,4,5. --Spaceballs.

The common denominator produces divide overflow.

The computer laughs at you when you're not looking.

The computer said my perfect match became extinct 4 million years ago!

The computer you bought today, became obsolete yesterday.

The computing field is always in need of new cliches. --Alan Perlis.

The condensed version...

The confusion of a staff member is measured by the length of his memos.

The conquest of fear lies in the moment of its acceptance.

The conspiracy you've uncovered is just a front for the REAL conspiracy.

The continuance of anger is hatred.

The cost of feathers has risen.... Now even down is up!

The credit belongs to those who strive valliantly.

The cruellest lies are often told in silence. --R.L. Stevenson.

The cure for Writer's Cramp is Writer's Block.

The current death rate? One per person, of course.

The cynic says: the pessimist is a realist who isn't afraid to admit it.

The day hums sweetly when you have enough bees working for you.

The deeds of men never deceive the Gods. --Ovid.

The deeper the sorrow, the less tongue hath it. --Talmud.

The desire to work is confined to classified ads.

The doctor said I could have a breakdown if I liked.

The dogs bark, but the caravan moves on.

The doors of Truth are guarded by Paradox and Confusion.

The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had.

The dreams of the future are better than the history of the past.

The early bird gets the worm, the second mouse gets the cheese.

The early worm deserves the bird.

The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.

The elegancy of honesty needs no adornment. --Merry Browne.

The end is near... but wait for the sequel!

The end of the human race will be that it will eventually die of civilization.

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. --Gandhi.

The excrement has hit the whirling blades.

The excremental matter hit the air circulation system!

The famous politician was trying to save both his faces.

The fear of death is the beginning of slavery.

The feeling of mistrust is always the last which a great mind acquires.

The female can change her mind at any given time...

The female of the species is more deadly than the male.

The final test of fame is to have a crazy man imagine he is you.

The first 2 computers: Eve had the Apple, Adam had a Wang.

The first duty of love is to listen.

The first mention of baseball in the Bible was "In the Big Inning..."

The first obligation of a prisoner is to escape. --Sheridan.

The first sigh of love is the last gasp of wisdom.

The first thing you learn as captain is how to cheat death. --Kirk.

The first time in my life, I keep the lights on to ease my soul.

The flames of Hades burning strong, your soul shall never rest!

The foolish and the dead alone never change their opinion.

The force can have a strong influence on the weak-minded. --Obi-Wan Kenobi.

The friend who understands you, creates you. --Rolland.

The fruits of impatience are bitter.

The further I go, the behinder I get.

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

The future is not set. There is no fate but what we make.

The future will be like the past, only more expensive.

The future's uncertain and the end is always near...

The game of love is never called off on account of darkness.

The gates of hell shall not prevail against them. --3 Nephi 11:39.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine!

The generation of random numbers is too important to be left to chance.

The genius of women... intuitive in function, spiritual in tendency.

The girl turned ripe and the pickers came today!

The girl was writing the way you speak in the dark...

The girl who was so bashful, she went into a closet to change her mind.

The good have no need of an advocate. --Phocion.

The good is the enemy of the best.

The good news is that the bad news is not much worse than usual.

The good news is there is plenty of lithium.

The good news is you're not dead. The bad news is you're still burning.

The government's problem is it's full of politicians!

The great Princess Chrissy will now listen to your pleas.

The greatest pleasure in life is doing what people say you cannot do.

The greatest talents are shrouded in obscurity. --Plautus.

The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world.

The happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts.

The harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph.

The harder you fall, the higher you bounce.

The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

The hate is swelling in you. Take your Jedi weapon. Use it. --Emperor.

The head learns new things, but the heart practices old experiences.

The heart has eyes that the brain knows nothing of.

The heart is forever making the head its fool.

The heart is wiser than the intellect...

The heart of many a fair maiden has been won with the ring of steel.

The height of injustice is having to pay for justice.

The high price of bigamy: TWO mothers-in-law!

The history of Liberty is the history of resistance.

The honeymoon is a period between dating and debating.

The hotel of your heart has many vacancies.

The human heart opens only to the heart that opens in return.

The human spirit is a very hard thing to kill. Even with a chainsaw.

The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder...

The ideal wife is the woman with the ideal husband.

The immoratal words of Socrates: "I drank what?"

The important thing is never to stop questioning.

The impossible I can do at once, miracles take a little longer!

The instruments of darkness tell us truths. --Shakespeare, MacBeth.

The invincible weapon against the evils of earth is the caring heart.

The judge wiped her tears with my checkbook.

The jury is to disregard the last comment.

The knights who say "Ni" demand... a sacrifice! --The Holy Grail.

The ladder of success is always missing a few rungs.

The laser is broken, said Tom incoherently.

The last Christian died on the cross. --Anonymous.

The law says you can have only one spouse. This is called monotony.

The lawyer got his client a suspended sentence. From a tree.

The leading cause of divorce is marriage.

The less things change, the more they stay the same.

The less we know, the more we suspect.

The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlight of the oncoming train.

The light at the end of the tunnel is usually a "No Exit" sign.

The light at the end of the tunnel just died.

The light that burns twice as bright burns half as long.

The love we give away is the only love we keep.

The mailman bringeth... The trashmen taketh away!

The male is a domestic animal that can be trained to do most things.

The man in the moon is smiling at the girls in the world.

The man who has everything should be quarantined.

The man who removes a mountain begins by carrying away small stones.

The means of the one outweigh the means of the many. --Kirk.

The meek shall inherit the Earth... we shall inherit the Stars1

The men don't know but the little girls understand.

The mice may have the right but the cat has the claws.

The monkey speaks his mind.

The monkey's dead. The message is over.

The moon is a planet just like the Earth, only it is even deader.

The more I understand women, the more I like being single.

The only thing the borg left was this MacIntosh...

The quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.

The sum of the intelligence on the planet is constant, population increases.

This is 911: To report fire press 1, burglary press 2, rape press 3,...

This is the Hurd. Welcome.

Top Secret Message! Burn before reading!

Touch Me With More Than Your Hands.

typedef unsigned bool_t; /* my blood type is 0 positive */